Month: April 2026

Perhaps I was a bit hasty in assuming that the shooting at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner where Viceroy Donald Trump appeared last weekend was staged to make him look like a victim, or for that matter that the Butler, Pennsylvania shooting in his 2024 campaign was a setup.

We are being told that we should not rush to judgment simply because this “administration” has lied to us before, is lying to us now about every other subject, and Donald Trump lies like he breathes, which is to say, on reflex, and if he ever tried to stop himself he would blackout and maybe die.

Upon reflection I can think of two serious reasons why the shooting was not set up by anybody in the government. The first and less obvious is that nobody in this three-ring circus can keep a secret, especially not Whiskey Pete Hegseth. On the other hand he seemed remarkably happy after the event. That would also explain why FBI Director Kash Patel was at his table looking totally lost. Hey, maybe somebody should brief THE HEAD OF FEDERAL LAW ENFORCEMENT when there’s a shooter in the building with the president? It would also explain why Stephen Miller was shown being led off by Secret Service while holding his pregnant wife in front of him. And holding her boob. I’m not kink-shaming.

The other reason is the suspect himself. Unlike the Butler shooting, the shooter was taken into custody without needing to be shot. His name is Cole Allen. Apparently just ten minutes before everything went crazy, he sent an email to friends and family as a short manifesto as to why he was going to attack. He certainly seemed cheerful. It started “Hello everybody! So I may have given a lot of people a surprise today. Let me start off by apologizing to everyone whose trust I abused. I apologize to my parents for saying I had an interview without specifying it was for “Most Wanted.” At one point he mentioned that it shouldn’t have been as easy to get through security as it was, which the conspiracy side is saying is support for Trump’s demand to build a secured ballroom at the White House. But there was other stuff he said that Trump wouldn’t like as much. Namely: “On to why I did any of this:

I am a citizen of the United States of America.

What my representatives do reflects on me.

And I am no longer willing to permit a pedophile, rapist, and traitor to coat my hands with his crimes.”

At this point I need to ask: What does it say about the president when the misogynist tyranny in Iran and a would-be assassin both seem more reasonable and moral than he does?

The email later made news with a preview of 60 Minutes where Norah O’Donnell interviewed Trump just after the event and asked about Allen saying he didn’t want to be represented by a rapist, pedophile and traitor. Trump said, “I knew you would ask that question, because you’re horrible people. I’m not a rapist.” And as he talked over her, O’Donnell was heard asking, “oh, do you think he was talking about you?”

It’s like somebody saying “I hate this redheaded clown who sells junk food to children” and Ronald McDonald says “Is he talking about ME??”

One point on the manifesto that a lot of skeptics have made: One of Allen’s relatives informed local police as soon as possible, and procedure where a potential attack on the president is concerned is that the Secret Service and FBI be informed as soon as possible. But Allen still got ten minutes to act, and wasn’t caught until after he made his first move. Some folks thought this was evidence that the government wanted to set up an event and let him act. Others thought this was a simple case of law enforcement not acting quickly enough.

One Facebook friend put it very well: “Before we get too paranoid, remember that he fired every single intel and counter-intel expert in the government — probably because all of them could see how easy it is to manipulate him. He’s surrounded himself with yes-men rather than professionals, and that almost certainly applies to his security detail as well. They were most likely picked for loyalty rather than competence, and this is the result.

“Or it was staged. 50-50 either way.”

It brings to mind Hanlon’s Razor: “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.” Certainly a lot of what we saw is a case of not managing the security event competently. However Hanlon’s Razor has two corollaries: “Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice” and “any sufficiently advanced malice is indistinguishable from incompetence.”

Was it staged? Based on what we know of the shooter, likely not, but as The Rock would say, IT DOESN’T MATTER. Despicable Me and his minions base everything on ulterior motives and how they can game a situation, no matter what it is. If it seems like the event was staged, it’s not just because the regime has lied about everything else, it’s because THEY are the ones acting like it was staged for their benefit.

Because after the shooting, the Dinner host announced that the president was going to hold a press conference in just 30 minutes. (And everybody laughed.) And Trump used the occasion to say this is why he needed to have his one big beautiful ballroom, when the White House has never hosted the Correspondents’ Dinner, the judge who halted construction did allow for the construction of a bunker, and drone-proof bunkers are not going to help against a shooter who managed to get a longarm and shotgun past security.

Not to mention that even before the shooting, everyone was wondering why Trump wanted to attend on this particular year when he’d never attended the event as president before. And everyone was speculating on whether he could even make a speech to what was bound to be a hostile audience.

And then over the weekend through Monday Trump and other Republicans blamed the evil Democrats for inciting a climate of hatred as opposed to reacting to it. For instance, before the weekend, Jimmy Kimmel did a fake roast speech to the Correspondents’ Dinner where he said that Melania had “the glow of an expectant widow.” And for this His Majesty demanded (again) that Kimmel be fired by ABC.

A Trump supporter halfway beat Nancy Pelosi’s husband to death, and nobody claimed Trump had anything to do with it. When Trump gave his speech on January 6 saying that the Vice President should go along with his fake elector scheme, and he didn’t, Trump tweeted “Mike Pence didn’t have the courage” to do the right thing, and all of a sudden all the people who were at the speech busted into the Capitol chanting “HANG MIKE PENCE!”
But that wasn’t considered an example of free speech inciting violence. Although by Trump’s “standards”, it should have.

“They must’ve been talking about some other fast food clown!”

That hypocrisy is yet another one of the reasons why the president cannot command sympathy and support for his demands, however much he uses his Republican Party cult to make up for that. It keeps coming back to the fact that people believe that Trump would fake a shooting just to hustle for sympathy, whether he actually did or not, and he is acting like he set this up for his personal goals whether he did or not.

Why would we believe Trump would do that?

Well, what kind of person would stage a shooting at a journalists’ event just to get the public to support his demands?
The kind of person who would let a guy get shot at one of his rallies just to gin up support for his presidential campaign.

What kind of person would let a guy get shot to get support? The kind of guy who would pal around with convicted pedophiles like Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, and who has done everything in his power to cater to Maxwell, short of pardoning her, which is still not off the table.

What kind of person would hang out with the likes of Epstein? The kind of person who as president would laugh at the War Powers Act, kill fishermen in international waters, violate sovereignty to abduct one head of state, start a major war in the Middle East, target their head of state for assassination, target a girls’ school in the country, killing over a hundred children, and in his own words, threaten to end an entire civilization if they don’t bow down to him.

The problem is not that the Correspondents’ Dinner was a failure of security and a real assassination attempt. The problem is not that it looks like a staged assassination attempt. The problem is, it only looks like a staged attempt because the ruling class of this country are lower than scum, and the longer they stay in power, the more damage they will do to the entire world.

The term “enshittification” was popularized by leftist writer Cory Doctorow to describe the degradation of service on online websites and apps. His piece is quoted in Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enshittification

“Here is how platforms die: first, they are good to their users; then they abuse their users to make things better for their business customers; finally, they abuse those business customers to claw back all the value for themselves. Then, they die. I call this enshittification, and it is a seemingly inevitable consequence arising from the combination of the ease of changing how a platform allocates value, combined with the nature of a “two-sided market”, where a platform sits between buyers and sellers, hold each hostage to the other, raking off an ever-larger share of the value that passes between them.”

“In a 2024 op-ed in the Financial Times, Doctorow argued that “‘enshittification’ is coming for absolutely everything” with “enshittificatory” platforms leaving humanity in an “enshittocene”.

For a while now I have seen such a process occurring in most capitalist endeavors, not just online platforms. Only I don’t call it enshittification, I call it strip-mining the market. Basically, in order to maximize profit, a company’s owners will cut back on customer service and inventory, and charge for things that used to be perks, that causes people to quit going to the business, that leads to more cost cutting to maximize profit, that makes the business unprofitable and it goes terminal, then the owners sell it for parts. This was a business strategy of investors like Bain Capital, and it is why the once omnipresent Sears department store filed for Chapter 11 and is now reduced to a holding company for its remaining assets.

In this spirit I propose that a similar process is occurring in world government, in particular the American government. And for reasons that will become clear I call it: Enschmittification.

Carl Schmitt, upon being asked how well he knew Adolf Hitler.

Carl Schmitt was a legal scholar and professor in the time of Germany’s interwar “Weimar” Republic. Prior to the takeover of Hitler, Schmitt had written pieces that scholars now regard as both influential to the growing Nazi movement and useful to it. In 1932 Schmitt wrote The Concept of the Political, which detailed his central concept that politics is a case of friend versus enemy, considering liberal notions of non-conflict based political philosophy to be “utopian.” Liberal writer Mike Brock recently wrote on another central work of Schmitt in regard to authoritarianism:

“In 1922, the German jurist Carl Schmitt published a short book called Political Theology. Its opening sentence is among the most consequential in the history of political thought: “Sovereign is he who decides on the exception.”

What is meant by this is that sovereignty means the power to create exceptions to the legal system. Wikipedia goes over one of Schmitt’s earlier works, Die Diktatur (On Dictatorship) in which he stated among other things that it is in fact the purpose of the executive to bypass the formalities and limitations of parliamentary democracy. “If the constitution of a state is democratic, then every exceptional negation of democratic principles, every exercise of state power independent of the approval of the majority, can be called dictatorship.”

To Schmitt, the fundamental premise of government is the distinction between friend and enemy: “This distinction is to be determined “existentially”, which is to say that the enemy is whoever is “in a specially intense way, existentially something different and alien, so that in the extreme case conflicts with him are possible”. The essential dynamic is that government is not a public service, but rather exists to reward and protect one’s friends and punish one’s enemies. This aligns with the cynical Internet interpretation of conservatism: “There are those whom the law protects but does not bind, and there are those whom the law binds but does not protect.”

For Schmitt, capitalism is to be opposed because he sees it as exploitation – “The concept of humanity is an especially useful ideological instrument of imperialist expansion, and in its ethical-humanitarian form it is a specific vehicle of economic imperialism.” At the same time that enmity is based on the opposite of the leftist critique in that free trade seeks to create a universal value rather than stoke conflict: “All liberal pathos turns against repression and lack of freedom. Every encroachment, every threat to individual freedom and private property and free competition, is called repression and is eo ipso evil. What this liberalism still admits of state, government, and politics is confined to securing the conditions for liberty and eliminating infringements on freedom. We thus arrive at an entire system of demilitarized and depoliticized concepts.”

Even in Randian terms, capitalism and business are not simply about making money; making money is the means to the end. Success in capitalism means providing a service no one else can deliver, or with better service than anyone else can deliver. Developing a business is just as much a personal pursuit as athletics or art, from the standpoint of an entrepreneur. It is goal-directed. Competition may lead to the merger of a business with a smaller one, but that is not necessarily the goal. When making money is the whole point, all the other stuff that a given business does is secondary to what is ostensibly the company’s reason for being, and a company and its product can be sacrificed for the sake of greater mergers and sell-offs. At this point capitalism indeed becomes what the Left claims it to be: A cancer.

Enschmittification is nothing less than the application of this mercenary behavior to government.

While Schmitt is the thinker most often quoted by recent analysts, the anti-liberal or “post-liberal” approach to government in the modern era has been developed the longest by Russia, which should be no surprise to anyone seeing how Vladimir Putin’s government operates with Hungary and the United States. In an article for The UnPopulist, theorist Tom G. Palmer discussed how Putin’s guru Aleksandr Dugin deliberately referred to Schmitt’s theories in works that were studied by Putin and his men. Palmer did say that the “contingency” of conditions in the United States made it that much easier for Donald Trump to become president, but he and his advisors were very much operating from similar playbooks:
“The accretion of cronyism is not only a problem in Russia—it’s very real almost everywhere and it is very much a function of the state privileging those who are already “in” at the expense of those who are ‘out.’ That’s not just about the old stereotypes of cigar-smoking industrialists in black silk top hats; it’s far more systemic and is found wherever state interventionism creates a space for what political economists call ‘Directly Unproductive Rent-Seeking,’ now usually just shortened to ‘rent-seeking,’ that is, securing wealth without actually creating additional value for others. “

The mechanism for such actions in authoritarian regimes – such as this government – is the standing assumption that the executive’s authority means the ability to interpret how the laws apply. This is an informal norm in many countries but Schmitt specifically articulated this as deliberate policy.

For instance the Constitution specifically states that only the Congress can declare wars but places the President as Commander in Chief because decisions in a wartime situation have to be made with immediacy. But given the prospect of nuclear war or surprise attacks (such as 9-11) it has been more and more the assumption since World War II (where Congress did declare war after Pearl Harbor) that the president has to have authority for military action even in advance of an existing war or casus belli, effectively transferring the warmaking power to the executive. The War Powers Act, passed in the wake of the Vietnam War, merely authorizes or reviews presidential military action taken after the fact, and even this has rarely been invoked since passage. The premise is that in case of emergency, the government needs to bypass the law. As many people have observed, especially these days, if you give the government the power to break the law in an emergency, they will create an emergency when they want to break the law.

But on many levels it is the second Trump term, far more than the first, which demonstrates the true practice of enschmittification in action. It already started before the 2025 inauguration with the ascension of Trump’s main financial backer, Elon Musk, who was given blanket authority in government by Trump with no Cabinet office (and thus, no Senate authorization) for no other reason than that he was an elite capitalist who had already perfected the process of enshittifying Twitter after he purchased it, changing it from a flawed but universal platform into a vehicle for the distorted views of himself and fringe fellow travelers, legitimizing racist and fascist-adjacent opinions by their presence on his established platform, and not incidentally promoting the Trump 2024 campaign. After the election, Trump announced the creation of “DOGE” – the Department Of Government Efficiency, under Musk and Republican entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy. Ramaswamy was quickly pushed out, perhaps because people realized that a department to eliminate inefficiency didn’t need redundant leadership. As soon as Trump was sworn in (and Musk saluted our Roman ancestors), the current occupant of the Oval Office established DOGE by executive order (not an act of Congress). The legal status of DOGE remains unclear and most of its agents serve on an “acting” level without Congressional authorization or approval. While Musk had asked payments of millions for his staff, it remains to be seen how much unnecessary spending has been trimmed from government. DOGE was however given unrestricted access to everyone’s Social Security and financial records, set previously independent bureaucracies under direct presidential control, cut staffing for offices investigating Musk and his businesses, mostly dismantled the US Agency for International Development (USAID), eliminated over 300,000 government jobs and cut budgets at various departments including SSA, Treasury and Health and Human Services, by eliminating all that “waste, fraud and abuse” that previously was known as “providing services to the population at large.”

The latest manifestations of the dynamic are in Trump’s Iran war (aka The You Know What They Do To Pedos In Prison War). Reporters discovered that just before Trump announced a threat to bomb Iran’s civilian energy facilities, someone bought $1.5 billion in oil futures. Or as it’s usually called, insider trading, since you would have to know what was going down beforehand in order to time the maneuver. And after he got talked out of nuclear annihilation, he seemed willing to entertain the idea of leaving a postwar arrangement where Iran would charge tolls on passage through the Straits of Hormuz if America could get a cut of the proceeds. So the whole thing started with any of various pretexts, such as the threat the Tehran theocracy posed to its people, or the threat it posed to Israel, or rival Sunni governments, and the Iran cutoff of shipping is a blatant violation of international law. But Trump was willing to throw both principle and practicality aside if he thought he could monetize the situation, even if it meant a ‘joint venture’ with the nation he started hostilities with.

It’s almost as if Trump thinks the most important government on the planet is just a vehicle to make him more rich.

But not only is Trump’s war of choice cutting off the world energy lifeline at the Strait of Hormuz, his partners in the region are endangered as Iran fires missiles and drones at their own oil facilities, causing damage that will take years to repair, and in the process, causing many of the Arab princes to rethink their ties to Washington.

The irony being that the late stages of this process are undermining its reason for being: If enschmittification means changing government from a public service to a vehicle of personal enrichment, continued manipulation will only serve to undermine profits as the outside world reacts to the manipulation.

That is, control of the markets by right-wing rent seekers can undermine a country’s economy at least as much as socialist intervention. This can create a vulnerability to the government even greater than the weaknesses created by enshittification in the private sector. The first sign of this occurred recently with the parliamentary elections in Hungary. There, Prime Minister Viktor Orban had been in charge for 16 years, and thus had gotten that much farther along in co-opting private media, industries and the courts than Trump has over 10 years. He had also gotten that much farther in fixing the government, by changing the election rules to grant even more seats to the majority (such that in 2022 Orban’s Fidesz coalition got 54 percent of the vote but two-thirds of the parliament seats). This made Orban the darling of not only Vladimir Putin but serious anti-liberal thinkers in the West (such as JD Vance and Rod Dreher). But by 2026, Hungary’s economy was weaker than that of Romania or Bulgaria. Despite national health care and other provisions America does not have, basic services and consumer goods are lacking. “The main reason for Hungary’s poor economic performance is an autocratic government that has subordinated its economic policy to systemic corruption and the organized theft of public funds, undermining fair competition,” said József Péter Martin, Executive Director of Transparency International Hungary, at the presentation of their 2025 report. But in 2024, Fidesz member Peter Magyar decided to protest a scandal in which the Minister of Justice pardoned a defendant in a child sex abuse case.* He also made news by helping to expose a bribery scandal where the same Minister – Magyar’s ex-wife – admitted on tape that records had been altered on government orders. Riding public outrage, Magyar joined the existing Tisza opposition party and gained a seat in the European Parliament. Preparing for this year’s campaign, Magyar and Tisza adopted the critical strategy of getting all the opposition parties to unite under their coalition (since Hungary actually has more than two political parties), canvassing the nation in person instead of relying on state media, and sending an online questionnaire proposing 13 specific actions. Notably, Magyar is not a leftist, being a center-right politician who agrees with a lot of previous Orban policy (such as immigration restriction) but “liberal” in demanding public investment and the rule of law. The Tisza campaign focused not so much on Orban’s so-called illiberal social policies as the decline of the economy, the blatant corruption and self-dealing of the government, and the fact that these are the same problem. The end result, after 16 years of Orban rule, led to Tisza winning in a landslide. Ironically, the margin of the vote turned Orban’s rig against him, with Tisza gaining two-thirds of the seats in parliament and thus allowing the new party to change the Constitution as Fidesz had done in 2010.

The situation for America is not exactly analogous, especially since Hungary is a parliamentary system which meant that the head of government is determined by majority control and not election of a separate office. But as Trump continues his war of choice against the nation that controls 20 percent of the world’s access to oil, the prices of gasoline and diesel will continue to increase, which will increase the cost of transportation of goods, which will increase the price of everything else, and all the while Trump and his family and cronies monetize the situation every way they can. It has already been predicted that Republicans will lose the House in November, assuming the number of dead elderly Democrats doesn’t outpace the number of Republicans being expelled before then. Trump’s bad behavior is a known quantity. But now that it directly affects American voters where they live, it’s more likely than ever that he will lose his main enabler in consolidating the government, the Republican Congress. Ethnic cleansing, putting your face on every building in Washington and dressing like Jesus may be tolerable, but gas at 5 dollars a gallon is something else.

Or as was said quite some time ago:
“It’s the economy, stupid.”

* -P.S. And it doesn’t help when your government enables pedophilia, either.

So. We have not started a nuclear war. Yet.

Just to recap: Easter Sunday, Our Lord and Savior, Donald Trump, rose from his bed to twit the following: “Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the Fuckin’ Strait, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell – JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah. President Donald J. Trump”. Because this government is basically The West Wing as scripted by David Mamet and directed by Martin Scorsese.

“This made a lot of people angry and was widely perceived as a bad move.”

No less a right-wing whackjob than Marjorie Taylor made an extended post saying “Everyone in his administration that claims to be a Christian needs to fall on their knees and beg forgiveness from God and stop worshipping the President and intervene in Trump’s madness,” the former Georgia congresswoman responded on X on Sunday. “Our President is not a Christian and his words and actions should not be supported by Christians.” She also said “This NOT what we promised the American people when they overwhelmingly voted in 2024, I know, I was there more than most. This is not making America great again, this is evil.”

Bee itch, this is EXACTLY what you and yours voted for. You wanted a president who would remake the country in your twisted image and that required someone who was both shameless and oblivious enough to put himself above the law. And now you know what that means, but it’s too late now, cause you elected him God.

Same thing with Alex Jones: ““The definition of genocide is destroying an entire civilization/people!” Jones wrote on X, following Trump’s threats to eliminate Iranian civilization Tuesday. “Trump literally sounds like an unhinged super villain from a Marvel comic movie. This IS NOT WHAT WE VOTED FOR!!”

Things are really bad when you hope, “Gee, I hope Alex Jones can talk some sense into this guy.”

And as Trump ALWAYS does, he heard the feedback and decided to double down on stupid. Easter Monday they held the White House Easter Egg Roll and Trump decided to pontificate to children about how America was “dead” but thanks to him it’s “hot”, while flanked by his wife and the Easter Bunny (in the picture, the Easter Bunny is on the right). Overnight he twitted this winner: “A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again. I don’t want that to happen, but it probably will.” (He did not specify if he meant Iran or the United States.) This on top of his previous posts led to that many more calls to invoke the 25^th Amendment and remove Trump from office for incapacity. Jones went further. On InfoWars, he asked his guest Robert Barnes, “How do we 25^th Amendment his ass?” Barnes pointed out that under the rules for invoking the 25^th, (Section 4) it’s actually harder to do than to get an impeachment conviction in the Senate. So Jones asked what else could be done and Barnes said they “tackle Trump and let him pretend he’s president and publicly report that he’s going through a health issue … It literally needs to be something like that. It’s that bad.” “I’ve known you for a long time,” Jones replied. “You’ve never called for an internal coup before.”

Republicans in Congress of course would not go that far, but Trump supporter and fellow Putin fanboy Senator Ron Johnson (BR.-Wisconsin) said Tuesday, “I do not want to see us start blowing up civilian infrastructure … We are not at war with the Iranian people. We are trying to liberate them.”

Meanwhile there were filmed events of Iranian civilians coming to key power plants to act as human shields or at the very least let American airmen know that they are ordered to kill non-combatants. To this Trump whined, “They’re not allowed to do that.” Thus expressing his inner five-year old. Which in his case is his outer five-year old.

Maybe that’s why, less than two hours away from Trump’s self-imposed 8 pm deadline to genocide, he agreed to a proposal from Pakistan to hold off civilian strikes for two weeks “subject to the Islamic Republic of Iran agreeing to the COMPLETE, IMMEDIATE, and SAFE OPENING of the Strait of Hormuz”.

TACO Two Weeks strikes again!

Only that level of shrewdness could have bankrupted six casinos!

Although as Andy Borowitz points out, this just means Trump is giving himself two weeks to come up with an even bigger distraction for the Epstein Files. ™

Basically somebody gave Our Very Stable Genius an out from an action that would have not just destroyed Iranian infrastructure but infrastructure in Israel, Saudi Arabia and elsewhere from Iran’s inevitable retaliation strike. It would have broken relations with our allies, leading to denial of military base access, a breakoff of relations, or even a very strongly worded diplomatic message. And given how much even Republicans are taking the 25^th Amendment seriously, he might not have been able to maintain support in a Congress where Moscow Mike Johnson cannot spare any defections.

None of this changes the fact that while the current status quo is not as bad as Trump carrying through his threats (at least not as bad for Trump, which may be why someone finally got him to chicken out), it’s still pretty bad for the world. If the goal was to prevent a deranged lunatic from getting a nuclear weapon, well- way too late for that. It’s that much more likely that Iran will feel the need to get one, knowing that the US and Israel will not stop bombing them until they do. (The history of North Korea, or for that matter the history of Ukraine vs. Russia, indicate that Western attempts to stop the spread of nukes might actually be counterproductive to world peace and security.) That being the case, Israel will feel even less secure knowing that the Islamic tyranny in Iran, an anti-Semitic regime that has sought to destroy them for years, is an existential threat, and now knows that Israel is an existential threat to it. Whatever happens to the Strait of Hormuz, Iran gets a say, and the world’s fossil fuel supply is that much more under their control than before. The Gulf states that now host our military bases, mainly as a deterrent to Iran, are seeing those bases as more of a liability. And we have already depleted our military supplies to the point where we have less defense against future Chinese and Russian expansionism. Assuming that wasn’t the idea.

Again, rump promised on Tuesday that a whole civilization would die tonight. It wasn’t Iran, but in a way, it was the United States. Thanks to this clown, we and the rest of the world can no longer trust that the Americans are the good guys or that our leadership can be trusted. Because this is NOT a republic of laws, but a democracy of men, and far too many Americans actively chose this, or knew better but chose not to vote for Kamala Harris because she supported Israel too much. (You think Harris would have got snookered into Bibi’s new war, kids?) So before I conclude, let me just say to all you Trumpniks and “anti-Zionists”, as diplomatically as I can:

DIE.

Slowly and painfully.

Which is very likely given how many of you take your medical advice from RFK Junior.

While you’re at it, castrate yourselves. Just take out a butter knife and lop it off. Take yourselves out of the gene pool. If you’re really pro-life and you think that every baby has a soul and God intends them all to go somewhere, make sure they don’t go to stupid parents who will raise them to be stupid. You need to get flushed out of the body politic, the sooner the better.

As it is, it’s hard to see how we survive to the July 4 250^th anniversary of the United States, at least if We, the People, are so passive and sheeplike that we continue to allow this feeb to keep misruling it. And it’s gonna be pretty hard to celebrate our revolt from British North America when most of us are looking at Canada and thinking “You know, maybe putting extra ‘U’s in words doesn’t seem that bad.”

My Fellow Americans, and All Our Ships At Sea,

We got a real serious situation in Iran, and to make sure everybody takes it seriously, I am addressing the nation on April Fool’s Day.

We are very close to achieving our military objectives against Iran, which is not a war, cause you gotta go to Congress to have a war, not like I give a fuck what Congress says, they’re all a bunch of sissy bitches who bend over when I say, just like I do with Putin. We are gonna hit ’em real hard, harder than anybody’s ever been hit before, right back into the Stone Age where we belong. They. I mean they. They being Iran. I’m real serious.

Also, next week is Infrastructure Week.

I got somethin’ to say to our so called “allies” who wouldn’t step up and help with the war I started without Congressional authorization, choking the world’s access to fossil fuel and wrecking the global economy cause it was my time of the month and also cause I needed the press to stop talkin’ about the Epstein Files. I wasn’t supposed to say that, was I? DID I MENTION I’M TERMINALLY SENILE AND HAVE NO INTERNAL MONOLOGUE??

To all those other countries, I’m telling you if you want that oil, you gotta take it. Cause I don’t care anymore. I’m bored. I’m like a five-year old on a sugar crash. Anybody who knows me, they knows I don’t care about nothin’ except me. You can just take it. Iran’s got no military. Just ask the people at that Saudi airfield who saw an AWACS get cut in half. You think Iran did that? It was Joe Biden! Or George Soros! Maybe both! PIZZAGATE!

You can just walk in and take it. Take it. They got nothin’. They got no cards. No cards! You can trust me. I’m an expert on playing cards. That’s how I bankrupted six casinos.

We’re gonna destroy Iran and it’s capacity to build a nuclear weapon! Just like I did a few months ago! You wanna know how! I’m not tellin’ ya! If we don’t know what we’re doin’, then neither will the enemy!

Nobody knows what I’m gonna do! Not even me! You wanna find out? You just gotta keep watchin’ the Trump Show!

BE THERE. ALOHA.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!