Call it Not News

Lie- lie to my face

Tell me it ain’t no thing, that’s what I wanna hear

Take your lie to the grave

That’s what an old friend told me, look what it did for him

The truth hurts so bad, wouldn’t you say?
So why tell it?
If ignorance is bliss, then I’m in

Heaven now

-Queens of the Stone Age, “3s and 7s”

I saw a post recently on Facebook saying that there was one consequence of the last Writer’s Guild strike that hasn’t been considered. NBC’s The Apprentice was losing ratings and they were going to drop Donald Trump’s contract, but the sudden need for “unscripted” TV meant they had to go back to him as the star of a new show, which was how we got Celebrity Apprentice, which was how Trump managed to get back into the public profile, also the same time he started pushing “birther” conspiracy theories about President Obama, which got a lot more credibility because TV producers who knew better pushed Donald Trump as though he were actually an expert source on finance, or on anything.

It is not newsworthy, or a surprise, that given a microphone and a stacked audience Trump will act like an orangoutan with Tourette’s Syndrome that fell fifty feet, landed on his head and is still able to talk, but what is surprising and newsworthy is that CNN, after everything we have learned about Trump in seven years, gave him a free platform AGAIN. Which raises the question of which entity is more stupid and desperate for attention.

Seriously: FUCK CNN. I blame these whores for the Trump presidency more than Russia, more than Hillary Clinton’s incompetence, more than James Comey and even more than Fox News. You would expect Russia and Fox to shill for a wannabe fascist. It took CNN to make him respectable. It took CNN to tell Middle America, “Hey, this is a REAL candidate. This is a centrist candidate. This is a serious alternative to Hillary Clinton, not like these minor party candidates that we’re NOT giving free air time.”

You could make the case that in 2015-2016, the people at CNN who knew Trump as a New York gadabout still liked him and didn’t know what he was really going to turn into, but they can’t say that now. Not after the Russky traitor bitch deliberately tried to destroy America’s (small r) republican system of government and showed he was willing to kill his own vice president to do it by crowdsurfing a mob of Confederate sympathizers. You can cover him, yes, because it’s the Republican Party that made the decision to keep him and that is a newsworthy (if repugnant) decision in itself, but that does not obligate you to enable him, as you (CNN and other media) did in the past. Keep in mind, this is a guy who used his presidential administration to help Saudi Arabia cover up and minimize the butcher death of Jamal Khashoggi (a Saudi-Turkish journalist working with the Washington Post) because he’d exposed critical truths about their government. This is a guy who routinely “jokes” about the violence he’d like to inflict on the press. And yet, CNN, like the Republican Party, comes crawling back to a man whom they know would have them killed just because it serves his purposes, or simply out of amusement.

What should we call them now?
Conservative News Network?
Call it Not News?
Cucking for Neo Nazis?

I mean really, it raises the question of why Trump needs to rape women when CNN will blow him and then bend over for free.

The thing is that whatever one might think of “conservatism”, it is clearly animating the Supreme Court, and several state governments, and requires some kind of philosophy. But that philosophy apparently doesn’t sell itself. You have Republicans in Congress like Nancy Mace and Dan Crenshaw who might be just as hardcore Christianist as the rest of them, but they still have enough brain cells to realize there’s a world outside their self-cultivated perceptions, and they need to negotiate with it, like everybody else does. But those aren’t the people running the Republican Party, let alone the Susan Collins-Mitt Romney types who clearly grew up in a different era. What’s running the Republican Party? The kind of goombas who wanted to watch what happened Wednesday on CNN, which is exactly why CNN presented it. You have an entire political party in this “two” party system that doesn’t believe in politics, it believes in “reality TV”, two words that do not belong in the same solar system, let alone the same phrase. They don’t want a government that works for anyone else, they don’t even want a government that works for them, they just want a circus. They just want Big Chief Ook-Ook Gorilla to dunk barrels on the mean old liberals and pound his chest and yell, so they can cheer along with all the other chimps in the audience. What they want, clearly what they’ve always wanted, is to turn the government of the most powerful country in the world into The Apprentice. And as long as they’re the ones who say how the Republican Party moves, anybody else who’s running for the Republican nomination is just another contestant on The Apprentice and Trump is still the host. And the grand prize for the winner is the chance to be Trump’s running mate in 2024, which as we know means being the designated patsy for Trump’s mob of mouth-breathers to kill when he needs someone to blame for his own incompetence.

But given the position that CNN has taken, it is clearly not trying to present “objective journalism” in giving Trumpism “equal time,” it’s deliberately appealing to that dysfunctional mindset, and that in itself is not an accident. Which raises the question as to what a concerned public is to do about all this.

Because clearly Chris Licht and the other suits at CNN think they can appeal to a Trump-friendly audience in the wake of Fox News settling its defamation lawsuit and then firing star anchor Tucker Carlson. But that debacle shows us how to combat this media misinformation campaign, given how the Fox case and the fall of Carlson was the main media story prior to CNN allowing Mr. Attention Hound to stink up the TV screen again.

The idea that one can shift the “Clinton News Network” rightward on the premise that that will make it more centrist is a bit disingenuous in this day and age. CNN was the only cable news network that still had pretenses to journalistic objectivity or objectivity on the part of its anchors. At both Fox and MSNBC hosts are expected to wear their politics on their sleeve. And that in itself has not killed journalism. Modern people find it more credible that a journalist would have an opinion than not. And one can have an opinion that Donald Trump did good things for this country, did good things for the economy, gave you the Supreme Court Justices you wanted, and all that. That’s no sin. Those are opinions. In some cases, they might even be backed up by fact. But you can’t say you’re violating journalism or committing fraud just for having an opinion. You ARE committing fraud if you present information that is opposite to what you know to be true, and you present that misinformation as real news.

CNN might not be deliberately presenting the opposite of truth as fact – yet – but it’s a small distinction when you allow Trump a whole hour to present his anti-truth with just Kaitlin Collins going “that’s not true” over and over again while she gets laughed down by his fan club of hooting redcaps. That was the technical concession that made the event “journalism” rather than a Trump campaign event. But as with the Dominion Voting Systems lawsuit on Fox, there’s a pretty obvious effort to slant coverage, not on the basis of what is known to be fact, but to appeal to or retain a certain viewer demographic.

The difference with Fox is that we not only have a difference of opinion (as in, ‘should a man who plotted violent insurrection against an election certification even BE treated as a legitimate candidate, let alone given a friendly platform’) but direct evidence, obtained largely through the plaintiff’s discovery process, that Fox knew the votes weren’t there to save Trump’s re-election in 2020, but presented the false narrative that Dominion in particular had skewed their voting machines to take votes from him. In the process they also discovered certain embarrassing things about the company’s internal politics, such as, Tucker Carlson and other people at Fox actually hated and feared Trump but pushed the Dominion lie because they could see that telling the truth about Trump would alienate their “core audience“. Notably, as the Dominion case reached summary judgment, the presiding judge told Fox that if the case went to trial, Fox (the defendant) would not be allowed to make the argument that their coverage had news value, saying “I would have to tell the jury that newsworthiness is not a defense to defamation.”

Remember what Michelle Wolf said: “You guys are obsessed with Trump. Did you used to date him? Because you pretend like you hate him, but I think you love him. I think what no one in this room wants to admit is that Trump has helped all of you. He couldn’t sell steaks, or vodka, or water, or college, or ties, or Eric… but he has helped YOU. He has helped you sell your papers, and your books, and your TV. You helped create this monster, and now you’re profiting off of him.

Fox News, in particular, was so obsessed with catering to the Trump fan club that they crossed the line from simply advocating for a controversial position to presenting the opposite of fact as news. And when you do that, and do so at the expense of a party that is in position to sue you, you can get taken to court and you CAN lose. As Trump has also learned. Just because you have a right to say something doesn’t mean other people don’t have the right to call you on falsehood, and you can’t call it “news” when it’s really defamation.

Because if there was a bright side to CNN’s desperate appeal to the Trump audience, it’s that the most newsworthy aspect of the Wednesday town hall was Trump continuing to dig holes for himself. He told Collins that he had a right to threaten Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensberger: “I said ‘you owe me votes’ because the election was rigged,” said Trump, speaking to moderator Kaitlan Collins. “That election was rigged, and if this call was bad, why didn’t [Raffensperger] and his lawyers hang up?” An Atlanta newspaper quoted: “My initial thoughts were, this isn’t going to help,” said Caren Myers Morrison, a law professor at Georgia State University and a former prosecutor. “I think it’s some good corroborating evidence.” When Collins asked him if he’d shown the documents he took to Mar-a-Lago to anyone else after leaving the White House, he said “Not really.” When she asked him to clarify, he just said “Not that I can think of.” And just the day after he got found guilty of sexual assault and defamation in the E. Jean Carroll case, Trump joshed about it to the CNN audience, using his go-to insult of “whack job” and insulting both her and her husband, to such an extent that Carroll’s lawyer told the New York Times they have cause to consider another lawsuit – one in which CNN might be held liable because they knew (or could easily guess) what Trump would say in advance.

See, this is why the Candyass Caligula spent most of that trial at his European golf properties even after the judge gave him the opportunity to testify in his own defense even after his defense rested. Because they couldn’t really offer a defense when Trump’s conduct is public record, and while he can tell any lie he wants outside a court, he knows he’s legally liable for what he says in deposition – and when he did make one it helped the case against him. If he lies in public OR tells the truth in court it makes things worse for him, because that’s what happens when you compulsively commit crimes. And it’s one thing to be liable in civil cases, but when your big mouth implicates you in plans to cancel an election that would remove you from power, that’s likely to lead to prison time.

Assuming, of course, that someone in Washington, New York or Atlanta cares to prosecute.

The Way Things Are Going, They’re Gonna Crucify Me

In Western Christianity, this is “Holy Week” – commemorating the short period between Christ arriving in Jerusalem, being arrested by the Romans and condemned to die before rising on Easter. It also happens to be the same week that Donald Trump, once and future Viceroy for Russian North America, was first arraigned on criminal offenses by the State of New York.

Lest I seem mocking in comparing Trump to Jesus, it is a comparison seriously made by his fan club, which was formerly called the Republican Party. As Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (BR.-Georgia) told a reporter in New York Tuesday, Trump is in the same situation as Nelson Mandela and Jesus, being prosecuted by the state.

No, Trump really is like Jesus. I mean, look at the comparisons: They can both turn water into wine and sugar into cocaine, they both hang out with sex workers, and they both have close friends and family who are Jewish even though most of their worshipers don’t like to admit it.

Just as Jesus was arrested by the Romans on a Tuesday, this Tuesday Trump actually had to enter a courtroom and while there were some photos, there wasn’t much of a transcript as to why the proceeding took almost 90 minutes. It was most notable for the photo shot of Trump sitting at a bench with his lawyers, with that same worn-out, defeated look he has when he leaves a closed-door meeting with Vladimir Putin. Outside meanwhile, you had professional Trumpniks like Greene trying to raise support for their Messiah while getting drowned out by native New Yorkers. It was like the Bane speech to Batman in The Dark Knight Rises, only substitute “the darkness” with “obnoxiousness.” One thing we did find out from the arraignment is that while the Judge, Juan Merchan did not give Trump a specific gag order, he did direct him to refrain from inflammatory statements as the case proceeded to trial. But as soon as he could, Trump got in his motorcade to the airport, almost as if he hated the city that made him as much as it now hates him, then flew back to his fortress in Mar-a-Lago to give a prime-time speech that hardly any major network covered, bad-mouthing the judge and his family -once he was no longer in New York jurisdiction.

Or as the poets said in Ancient Rome, “Alligator Mouth, Hummingbird Ass.”

What did we actually find out during the event?

According to the statement of facts released Tuesday, the Trump Organization’s machinations centered on various attempts to shut down the never-ending scandals that had the potential to sabotage Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign. Much of it was with the assistance of National Enquirer/American Media Incorporated head David Pecker. These were called “catch and kill” deals, where Trump’s people would get Pecker to offer a certain amount of money for rights to their sleazy story, but instead of publishing the piece, the National Enquirer would sit on it and keep it from getting out. One thing we didn’t know until Tuesday was that a former doorman at Trump Tower had a rumor that Trump had fathered a child with a woman who wasn’t Stormy Daniels or Karen McDougal. AMI paid this guy $30,000 for his story. “When AMI determined that the story was not true, the AMI CEO [Pecker] wanted to release the Doorman from the agreement. However Lawyer A [Michael Cohen] instructed the AMI CEO not to release the doorman until after the presidential election, and the AMI CEO complied with that instruction because of his agreement with the Defendant [Trump] and Lawyer A.” Shortly after the Access Hollywood (‘grab ’em by the pussy’) tape, AMI’s editor-in-chief contacted Pecker about another woman, Stormy Daniels (listed in the statement as ‘Woman 2’, as opposed to Karen McDougal, who is Woman 1 – keeping up so far?) who alleged that she had a sexual encounter with Defendant Trump while he was married. AMI arranged a deal to keep Daniels quiet, giving her $130,000. Twelve days before the 2016 election, Cohen drew $130,000 from a home loan, put it into a shell account, and used that to pay Daniels off. After the election, Trump repaid Cohen in installments, but had his Chief Financial Officer Allen Weisselberg double the amount to $260,000 so that Cohen could classify the payment as income on tax returns (for ‘legal services’) rather than a reimbursement, allowing Cohen to make a profit once he’d paid income tax on the payment, assuming a total tax liability of 50 percent. So, not technically money-laundering, but pretty close. Close enough for the law, anyway. Not only did Michael Cohen go to prison over this, it was known during his trial that Trump was in fact aware of the payments Cohen made and agreed to pay him back. It was also revealed in the statement that Trump tried to delay the payment to Daniels as long as possible, preferably after the election, “because by that point it would not matter if the story became public.”

So so much for the idea that Trump was just trying to protect Melania from being hurt by the knowledge he’d had an affair. I mean, Melania was dating Trump when he was separated but not divorced from Marla Maples, so I don’t think it would surprise her that he was cheating. I mean, not like Melania is less likely to leave Trump than Lindsey Graham is. On that score, given that the transactions occurred just after the Access Hollywood tape, the Trump team, and most observers, really thought Trump was on the ropes, and one more scandal might have been enough. I don’t know. People hated Hillary Clinton THAT damn much, and the Trumpniks were that damn fanatic. I mean, early in the campaign, Trump said, in jest, “I could shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue and not lose any votes.” And the Republican Party has proven him right, rhetorically, ever since, every chance they get. All he needs to do now is actually kill somebody on Fifth Avenue, and we’ll know for sure. You might scoff, but I can see Lindsey Graham on Fox News now: “Look Sean, that three-year old was PACKING!!”

The statement of facts says that the participants mischaracterized the nature of the payments “for tax purposes.” The specific details of this constitute 34 felony counts against Defendant Trump. Now, under New York law, falsifying financial records is just a misdemeanor, but there is provision to change the charge to a felony if the State believes the act was to facilitate another crime or frustrate investigation of another crime. Also, misdemeanors have a statute of limitations. However, the statement of facts does not specify what second offense would justify elevating the charges to felonies.

But even though there are weaknesses in the case that a competent lawyer could exploit, that would assume Trump had a competent lawyer. That doesn’t seem to be the case. Trump runs through lawyers like Spinal Tap runs through drummers, and for similar reasons. While there were a couple people on Trump’s legal team Tuesday who looked like members of Homo sapiens sapiens, his main lawyer is currently a guy named Joe Tacopina, who was probably most famous for his grappling match against MSNBC’s Ari Melber as he tried to pull a document from Melber’s hand during an interview.

Even funnier, this guy donated to a Democrat (then-Congresswoman Kathleen Rice) who called for Trump to be prosecuted over his pressure call to Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensberger to “find” enough votes to swing the state. Republicans have issued fatwas for less. Not only that, in 2018, when all this stuff with Cohen came out, Tacopina was a legal analyst on CNN where he said that he believed Trump had had an affair with Daniels because “it means it’s true if he hasn’t threatened to sue” and on another show said “this could be looked as an in-kind contribution at the time of the election.”

But apparently this guy wasn’t hired for his smarts or consistency, but because he’d been one of the guys who defended a January 6 rioter in court (unsuccessfully). Like Cohen or Anthony Scaramucci, he’s not really there to provide legal acumen but to be Trump’s mouthpiece to the mainstream media and present that New York Tough Guy attitude Trump loves to fake so much, but with the imprimatur of a law degree.

It’s going to be that much harder for Trump to defend himself, given that when he was interviewed by Sean Hannity and Sean said “I can’t imagine you ever saying, ‘bring me back some of the boxes that we brought back from the White House, I’d like to take a look at them” Trump said, “I would have the right to do that, there’s nothing wrong with it.”

Any lawyer who agrees to become Donald Trump’s defense attorney would have to be that much more stupid and gullible than he is, which would certainly explain Joe Tacopina.

Much of what Tacopina and Trump’s other legal minds have put together as a defense, prior to arraignment, was more ad hominem attacks against the various other parties, especially Michael Cohen. And certainly if Cohen wasn’t lying when he was first being investigated, he can be easily accused of not telling the truth now. Which is why I’m sure the prosecution is also relying on other sources, including Allen Weisselberg, who it seems has just switched attorneys.

But as Cohen himself said to Republicans in Congress when he was ordered to testify there, his job was to do what they’re doing now, support and defend Donald Trump. And if things keep going at this rate, they are all going to end up where he is now.

But all that being the case, it just comes back to the point that Michael Cohen is himself Exhibit A in the case. He was the instrument of the transactions, not the person who ordered them made. So if nothing Trump did rises to the level of a criminal offense, why was Cohen investigated on virtually identical charges, and why did HE go to prison for them and NOT Trump?

Which just leads to the other whine of the Church of Trump, that this is all “political” and none of these charges would be pursued if this wasn’t Trump. First, when the Republican Party’s entire agenda for the House of Representatives is “let’s get Hunter Biden’s laptop”, saying that the other side is trying to politicize the justice system is a bit rich. But frankly, none of this stuff would be happening if this wasn’t Trump, and if this wasn’t a particular moment in time. Because if it’s political to go after Trump now, it was no less “political” not to go after him when the transactions occurred. Because then he was a popular celebrity, the nominee of one of the major parties for president, eventually to be the president, and as far as his base was concerned, a sweet little boy who could never do anything wrong. To say that they’re going after Trump now because they can is to tacitly admit that they couldn’t go after Trump then, because the nature of the offenses has not changed, but the system was always acting on the basis of politics and optics and not the objective merits of the charges. So if the charges are the same as they were years ago, what has changed in regard to Trump since he became President?

Shall we review again?

Fired the FBI director who was in charge of investigating Trump’s activities prior to the election, telling Lester Holt that he did so specifically over the “Russia thing”, immediately thereafter gave intelligence to the Russian Foreign Minister while he was in Washington, had a press conference with Putin where he basically spread his cheeks and let Putin ream him in front of international cameras,

Played “both sides” to support white supremacists at the Charlottesville protest, including Richard Spencer and David Duke,

Gave his son-in-law a position of power in his Administration, basically as Minister Without Portfolio, since he was never approved by Congress, said son-in-law used that position to make money off the Saudis, and used that influence to pressure Qatar into refinancing his real estate deal, including a Saudi blockade of Qatar, said son-in-law was appointed to lead a coronavirus task force in 2020, and in that capacity shut down vaccine research, allegedly on the grounds that “the political folks believed that because [the virus] was going to be relegated to Democratic states, that they could blame those governors and that would be an effective political strategy.”

And when refusing to deal with coronavirus somehow led to more Democrats voting and more Republicans splitting the ticket, he ran through various schemes such as appointing “substitute electors” in red states that went for Biden, personally called Raffensberger to swing Georgia by himself, and when all that didn’t work, tried to pressure his own Vice President, Mike Pence, into decertifying the vote, getting his people like Steve Bannon to organize mobs around the January event, and when Pence refused to go along, that mob broke through the doors of the Capitol, hunted legislators, smeared feces on the walls, and ran Confederate battle flags through the halls of the Capitol, which Robert E. Lee was never able to do.

Let’s just say any ONE of these should have inspired an appropriate response from authorities.

Oh, I didn’t even get into the weeds of Trump holding all those government documents at Mar-a-Lago just cause he says he can.

The outrage is not that Our Lord And Savior is being obsessively persecuted by the “deep state” (which prior to Trump was just ‘the state’) but that it’s taken them SO GODDAMN LONG.

And if this is the weakest case against Trump, look at all the other cases building up, like the Mar-a-Lago documents case and the Georgia case where it’s going to be extremely hard to prove that Brad Raffensberger didn’t catch Trump attempting election tampering on tape. Everybody’s waiting for the next shoe to drop, and Trump’s got more “shoes” than Imelda Marcos.

Happy Easter. Remember, Good Christians (TM), Trump can’t really be Jesus until he’s crucified.

They Just INDICATED Me!!!

March 30, 2023.

A day which will live in Schadenfreude.

On that day, a New York grand jury, after hearing weeks of evidence, voted to indict former president Donald Trump, on charges to be specified at the hearing. And Trump’s response on Truf Censhal was with the usual flair:

“These Thugs and Radical Left Monsters have just INDICATED the 45th President of the United States of America, and the leading Republican candidate, by far, for the 2024 nomination for President. THIS IS AN ATTACK ON OUR COUNTRY THE LIKES OF WHICH HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE. IT IS LIKEWISE A CONTINUING ATTACK ON OUR ONCE FREE AND FAIR ELECTIONS. THE USA IS NOW A THIRD WORLD NATION, A NATION IN SERIOUS DECLINE. SO SAD!”

(Posted in ALL CAPS, because as we know, the three loudest things in the universe are the original Big Bang explosion, Disaster Area, and Donald Trump social media posts.)


Well, at least he spelled “INDICATED” correctly.

Again, the public has not been made aware of the specific charges, but based on the investigations that were known up to this point, charges seem to stem from money paid out to porn actress Stormy Daniels so that she would not confess to an affair with Trump in 2006. This payment was arranged in October 2016, just before the presidential election that Trump ended up winning. While some would describe this as a financial arrangement between consenting adults, we know this qualifies as a crime because Trump’s lawyer and “fixer”, Michael Cohen, who actually made the payments, was convicted for doing so. At the time, Cohen insisted that he did not make the payments in collusion with Trump, but later turned against his boss and admitted that the money was transferred to his accounts. On May 2, 2018, Trump’s new lawyer, Rudy Guiliani, admitted that Trump had reimbursed Cohen. So… if it was a crime for Cohen, why is it NOT a crime for the “Individual One” who was listed as a “co-conspirator” in his case?

Trump’s logorrhea in this case is yet another example that every one of his accusations is either a projection or a confession. He is in no position to talk about free and fair elections when he whined about losing the popular vote in the 2016 election that he won with the Electoral College, and when we actually had a free and fair election in 2020 and he lost the popular vote AND the EC, he attacked that free and fair election by sending a lynch mob after the Congress that met to certify it. And if we are subjecting a former head of government to prosecution for criminal acts – as France has done at least once, and as Israel is doing with Benjamin Netanyahu – we are becoming less like a Third World nation, not more.

Which all leads to the question of how things will proceed. Supposedly Trump has agreed to fly to New York on Monday in order to appear in court Tuesday, when the charges will be unsealed. He will most likely have to be fingerprinted and recorded like any other suspect, although most sources agree he will not have to do a “perp walk” in handcuffs. After all, Trump is already under Secret Service escort at all times. What’s he going to do, flee to Russia as soon as it looks like he’s going to be arrested?

We are being told by the media that in order to preserve “the rule of law” that all proper legal procedures must be in place to protect the rights of a defendant, which is true, but elides the point that throughout his life, Donald Trump has had far more than the presumption of innocence, but has always acted on a presumption of immunity – as the formerly most criminal president in history, Richard Nixon, put it, “if the president does it, that means it’s NOT illegal.”

Of course Trump was not actually president at the time these transactions occurred, but that just gets to the larger point, that he has always acted as though he could do anything he wants because someone is always going to protect him. Because up until now, he has always had reason to believe that.

The liberal media keeps referring to Trump and this case by saying “no one is above the law.” But the fact that Trump has gotten away with as much as he has, as long as he has, proves that’s not the case, and it never really has been. But that’s okay. After all, we also keep saying “all men are created equal”, when in the legal system all men have never been equal to each other, let alone to women.

When we say “no man is above the law” or “all men are created equal”, these are not realities. These are aspirations. These are goals. And as long as we see that they are national aspirations and not the reality, we can make progress. This country has become more equitable insofar as we are capable of recognizing the contradiction between our ideal and our reality. Unlike some ideals, it is quite possible to make the legal system more fair, if not abstractly perfect. We can at least make it better than it was. People like Trump coast on the unfair reality of the world as it is, and that is what they seek to preserve. Far from a fair system, they want a sugar daddy government for themselves and a Road Warrior barbarism for the rest of us. When they whine that being equal under the law makes this country MORE of a Third World regime, they are not asking for a free country with fair elections. They want to indulge their desire to look up to a king.

Bad enough that that is the case, but Trump and the fan club that used to be a political party are willing to resort to intimidation. When Trump first heard he was going to be indicted, he first told his gang to protest at the court (when he should have known from local experience that NYPD aren’t nearly as restrained as Capitol Police) and then made a post on Truf Censhal showing a picture of him with a baseball bat next to a picture of New York District Attorney Alvin Bragg, raising his hand. When the actual indictment came, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis spoke up for the resident of his state, saying “The Soros-backed Manhattan District Attorney has consistently bent the law to downgrade felonies and to excuse criminal misconduct. Yet, now he is stretching the law to target a political opponent”. So the guy who is setting himself up to be the alternative to Trump in 2024 is going along with all the George Soros dog-whistling and antagonism to big cities, just like Daddy Trump does. Raising the question, is DeSantis really running for President, or Trump’s Vice President?

All of which sort of blows away the tut-tutting on MSDNC and other networks prior to the actual indictment about whether charges over an affair are worth a criminal case against Trump, when there’s so many more serious charges we should be pursuing. But as Cohen himself told the press, Al Capone was only convicted on tax evasion. And let’s review what we’re really dealing with: A populist who bragged about his support from the “poorly educated”, who said he would pay the legal costs for any fans who beat up protestors at his rallies, who openly begged Russia to release hacked intel on the Hillary Clinton campaign (which they DID), who as President fired people specifically because they investigated him, who hired an Attorney General (Bill Barr) largely to undermine investigations against him, who refused to admit the extent of coronavirus in 2020 because it would undermine his deals with Communist China, who told state governments to not allow special measures to vote by mail during the pandemic, because it helped his chances of re-election if people were less likely to vote, who still lost that second election anyway and refused to admit it, and who encouraged social media campaigns to organize violence against the certification, threatening the lives of Republican congressmen, not to mention his own Vice President.

This has gone far beyond having a difference of opinion. When you try to stop an election result from proceeding, you lose all right to talk about “FREE AND FAIR ELECTIONS” or rights when you certainly wouldn’t have given any rights to the people on the other side. Trump isn’t just some mean old conservative that woke liberals hate, he’s an active threat to national security. He has exhausted any benefit of the doubt, and any right to sympathy. And that goes double for anybody who looks at where he’s taken this country and thinks, “we need some MORE of that.” Bluntly, who gives a fuck which charge they get Trump on, as long as they GET him?

And if this doesn’t pan out – remember, it is a jury trial – there are all those other cases that the Feds and other states (namely Georgia) have waiting in the wings. If it was just one case of criminality, you could take your chances with the legal system. But Donald Trump is in a unique situation because of all our public personalities, only Trump lies, swindles and commits crimes like other people breathe. As in, he does so on reflex, and if he ever stops, he might die.

On the bright side, history also shows that while Al Capone got an 11-year prison sentence, he was released after only 7 1/2 years, after doctors diagnosed a case of syphilis that was slowly destroying his brain and his ability to function normally. But then we have no cause to believe that Donald Trump is suffering from an illness that is destroying his brain, much less an illness contracted from sexual incontinence.

What The State Of The Union Speech Should Have Been Like

Feburary 7, 2023

President Joseph Robinette Biden

Good Evening.

My fellow Americans… I had this big, over an hour long speech set up to go, and then I realized it wasn’t gonna make any difference. The State of the Union speech doesn’t change anything, it doesn’t convince anybody who’s not already in the President’s party, it’s just something you have to do, and nobody cares anymore. I mean look, they’ve got Sarah Huckabee Sanders doing the opposition response tonight, which should show you how much Republicans care about serious discussion.

So I threw it out, and, in consultation with Barack Obama’s anger management translator, I’m just going to lay out what I think right now.

I see we’ve got a lot of celebrities in the audience tonight. Like Bono from U2. He’s probably here to steal my rhymes cause he hasn’t come up with anything good since “Vertigo.” No, really. I mean, Bono, if you guys wanted to do a Ramones tribute, why didn’t you do what Motorhead did and write something that actually sounds like a Ramones song?

A lot of people are here cause they’re just expected to be. They don’t wanna be here. Like Samuel Alito. Congratulations on becoming Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, by the way. At least you act like it.

And then there’s Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene. Yeah, I see you guys. Yeah, same to you. Hey, I gotta ask, why are you both wearing the “I’m With Stupid” T-Shirt?
Seriously, Margie, congratulations on becoming Speaker of the House. I know you worked hard for it.

(Looks over his shoulder) I said what I said.

But that kind of gets to why I’m here tonight. If the State of the Union speech serves anything, it’s for the President to lay out where he thinks our country is in the world right now, and the strength of our country, and what we can do to preserve or improve it. And to the point: The state of our Union is strong. But threatened.

And the point I want to make tonight is that none of that threat is really from outside. We are by far the most powerful economy, in the world. We have by far the most powerful military, in the world. We have, this week, set up a 2.2 billion dollar aid package for Ukraine in its defense against Russia. Now, do you remember, the first time Trump got impeached, it was when new President Volodymyr Zelenskyy was asking for military aid to deal with a Russian backed insurgency in his country, and Trump said, sure, you get that money, if you do us a favor. And that favor was doing opposition research against me, before I’d even really started a presidential campaign and before New Hampshire. Funny coincidence, there. And if you remember before that, when Barack was president, Ukraine had this pro-Russian president who got overthrown in a revolution, he fled to Russia, and then as soon as that happened, Russia just walked into Crimea? Another funny coincidence. It’s almost like, you have all these coincidences piling up to a certain result, and it quits looking like coincidence, doesn’t it?

But the fact that we’re in this position with foreign aid now is because of what we did then. We, and the world, are less affected by Russia or another outside actor than how we as a government, as a people, react. And the threat from outside was influenced by our internal response. Just like, the United States is the most powerful economy in the world. It’s often said that if the US gets a cold, other countries get pneumonia. And we’re reaching that point now. We have a decision to make on raising the debt ceiling, and if that’s not done, it affects our credit rating, and that may affect the entire world economy.

Now, I remember when the right wing was serious, that most Republicans didn’t think the federal government should be doing much more than paying to keep the lights on in the Capitol. Problem is, nowadays, what calls itself conservatism doesn’t even want to do that. They’d rather be in the dark. That’s the joke. Like, how many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? None. They’ll just sit in the dark and praise Trump for doing such a great job changing the bulb.

We lost more men on both sides in the US Civil War than in World War I, and barely lost more men in World War II. Nobody is more of a threat to our country’s success and survival than we are. And I’m comparing this situation to the Civil War, and it seems like it’s got a lot of the same motivations.

You laugh, but why were all those guys rioting to stop my election running through the Capitol carrying Confederate battle flags? Some of them probably aren’t old enough to remember Lynyrd Skynyrd.

It’s almost like even now, they don’t want to admit they lost that war. A war where their idea of “freedom” meant the freedom for some men to keep others in bondage. A war where their concept of liberty only applied to people who looked, and thought, and prayed like them. So of course they’re not going to acknowledge the popular vote OR the Electoral College. That would mean acknowledging other people have the same rights they do. That’s the whole thing: They don’t want to live in reality.

It’s all of a piece. They don’t want to work on climate change, cause that would require admitting it’s real. Democrats, we may disagree on how to deal with climate change, but we can look at the water level of Lake Mead, and the Caspian Sea, and see that it’s real. In large part, they don’t want to help Ukraine against Russia, because they don’t want to admit Russia is not our friend. And officially, the Republican Party doesn’t want to admit I’m President. But guys: I’m here. I’M THE PRESIDENT. I’m here, now, giving the State of the Union speech. This is not some telepathic projection from the Reptoids trying to control your mind. You expect me to deal with you? You’re going to have to deal with me.

Yet, the posture of the Republican Party is just carry on, like reality isn’t a thing. You don’t just have Trump refusing to admit I won, you’ve got this Kari Lake in Arizona refusing to admit Katie Hobbs is the governor and not her. I mean, jeez, if that’s really how it works, we should send the Detroit Lions to the Super Bowl and not the Chiefs.

Look, that was just an example. I’m sorry Detroit. You’ve been through so much already.

We have two years left in my term. I have yet to announce officially that I’m running again. Like it makes a difference. Because we know Trump’s running again, and frankly, I’m the best chance of stopping him from getting the nuclear codes back. If I accomplish nothing else- and you all are sure trying to make sure that’s the case – it will be enough.

It would not be such an existential threat if a Republican won an election in the natural political cycle of things, but it is an existential threat when an individual can’t deal with reality. We can see from the example of Putin’s Russia what happens when an unhinged individual has no tether to outside reality and dissenting opinion. He pursues evil policies regardless of the consequences and no matter how many thousands or hundreds of thousands get killed. That has had its own effects on the world economy and standard of living. Imagine if that were us.

Imagine again if we just refused to pay our debts, a lot of which were built up just under the last Administration in four years. That’s going to cause terrible consequences to our standard of living, and worse in the rest of the world. And who do you think people are going to blame? Me, who warned you what would happen if you do it, or you, who want to do it just because I’m here and your guy isn’t?

Like I care. This is Dark Brandon you woke up here.

You really should have learned what happened the last time, and the last three to five times, you did a budget standoff. Everybody blamed you, not the Democrats. You try this again: I’m going to let you do it. And then I’m just gonna watch as you have to sit and stew and hear your constituents bitch about the budget problems YOU created for THEM. And I’m gonna see you come crying to me as if you didn’t know from all those times what would happen. And then I’m gonna tell you again: You want me to deal with you? You’re gonna have to deal with ME.

You are in no position to threaten anybody, with the budget, or with the military, because to paraphrase Ronald Reagan: Government is not the solution. Government, under Republicans, is the problem. Republicans are the reason we can’t get gun legislation. Republicans are the reason we can’t federalize abortion rights. Republicans are why the minimum wage is still less than 8 dollars an hour. You have spent as long as I remember – and that’s a long time – pulling this scam where you run for office saying “government is the problem” and then once you get elected, doing everything you can to prove it.

And if that was still working out for you, you wouldn’t be losing elections in Georgia and Arizona. You wouldn’t be trying so hard to stop Democrats from voting in Georgia and Texas and Florida. You wouldn’t have lost an abortion referendum in Kansas. You know how hard it is for Republicans to lose Kansas?

For as long as I still have, as long as I have to be here, every time you stand in the way of what needs to be done – with that FOUR SEAT majority you have – I’m not gonna cry. I’m not gonna whine. I’m not gonna pretend it isn’t happening. I’m just gonna let you do it, and I’m gonna let you live in your own mess. And then you’re gonna have to come to me. Because you’re standing in the way for the same reason you’re gonna let Trump take over your party again: Because you don’t have any better ideas.

So until you do, I say, in the immortal words of Dr. Dre,

“Fuck y’all. All y’all.”

Thank you, and God Bless America.

I SAID, ‘Ha, HA.’

It ended up taking a historic fifteen votes for the Republican-majority House of Representatives to finally elect Kevin McCarthy (BR.-California). Decidedly no thanks to Matt Gaetz (BR.-Florida), who supposedly made a deal on Friday with a few other holdouts like Paul Gosar and Lauren Boebert to vote “present” and lower the threshold needed for victory. So in order to be extra Drama Queen, Gaetz withheld his vote when called in hopes of being the guy to make the decision, but when roll call came back to him he still voted “present” even once it became clear McCarthy would still end up short. This led to a whole bunch of arguing and haggling in real time on the floor, culminating in Mike Rogers (BR.-Alabama) having to be restrained from reaching over and pasting Gaetz. Rogers’ own colleague, Tim Burchett of Tennessee, joked that “People shouldn’t be drinking, especially when you’re a redneck, on the House floor.” Or as Jeff Foxworthy would say, “if you’re a Republican Congressman… you might be a redneck.”

(After the fact, Rogers and Gaetz made up and apologized to each other. Gaetz actually said we need more cameras in Congress to show what representatives are doing. Well, that’s one thing I can actually agree with Gaetz on. At least Congress can be entertaining, if it’s too much for them to pass laws and do their jobs.)

But that seemed to be just enough embarrassment that other Republicans got the last holdouts like Matt Rosendale (BR.-Montana) to at least switch from “anybody but this guy” to “present” and McCarthy got nominated after midnight on what was then Saturday morning. It was always questionable whether doing the same thing over and over again would ever work, but apparently McCarthy’s approach of just caving on everything to everybody put the burden on his opponents as to why they still needed to oppose him. Gaetz was actually quoted as saying he was having trouble maintaining his leverage because he ran out of things to ask for. And really, I think it just came down to the same reason the Greedy Old Puritans are still following Donald Trump: They don’t have the imagination to come up with new ideas, no matter how clearly the current ideas have failed.

After the basic formalities, the leader of the opposition got to the podium. Hakeem Jeffries (D.-New York) had gotten all 212 Democrats to vote for him on every one of these ballots. And he gave an oration that was the exact opposite of a concession speech. It quickly became famous for the part where he said, “We will never compromise our principles. We’ll always put American values over autocracy, benevolence over bigotry, the Constitution over the cult, democracy over demagogues, economic opportunity over extremism, freedom over fascism …” and it became clear around that point that he was going to be making these comparisons with every letter of the alphabet, ending with “Yes We Can over ‘you can’t do it’, and zealous representation over zero sum confrontation.”

So Jeffries proved that, unlike Republicans, he knows all 26 letters, not just Q and Z.

Then McCarthy finally got to speak. On paper, it was a decent speech, and points to him if he wrote it himself (which a lot of politicians don’t). But his delivery was a dull, plaintive whine that explains why hardly anybody has respect for him. One key point was where he said, “If this week proved anything, it’s this: I never give up.” But the joke is that in order to get the status of power, he had to give up everything that gives the Speaker power, like giving the caucus the right to challenge him with just one vote. It’s sort of like if you had one of those royal succession wars like in Westeros or real-world France or Spain, and one candidate makes deals with the courtiers and rival nobles to give them all the powers of the kingship in exchange for being allowed to hold the title, and he also has to be the piss boy who runs around the court with a bucket for anyone who wants to relieve themselves. Yes, you’re the pissboy, but you get to wear the crown. It’s good to be the King.

The line of the night was probably in a Daily Beast article: “I just think we should check in,” quipped Rep. Adam Smith (D-WA), “and make sure McCarthy still has two kidneys.”

The first bill the McCarthy House passed was an attempt to reverse the recent funding increase for the IRS. Among the first business of the week was a bill to prosecute abortionists if they do not attempt to resuscitate fetuses that are born alive, when there is already a 2002 federal law for that effect. The Party of Trump now wants to defund the Department of Homeland Security because they allegedly aren’t securing the border, when the whole reason the agency even exists was because the last Republican government before Trump wanted another government bureaucracy to club brown-skinned people with. Not only that, the original Open Gaming License is no longer an enforceable document and anything you make under the new License means Wizards of the Coast has rights to all your stuff.

The “Freedom Caucus” might think they won something, but really, what they got was what Democrats got when they finally took the Senate from Mitch McConnell: the most technical of majorities in which one dissent can kill any initiative because dissent in the ranks means they aren’t really a majority, and in order to have the advantages of one, they have to let a couple of prima donnas (like Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema) turn them all into the supporting cast of their personal opera.

This may or may not matter as much as it did with the Democrats, because Joe Biden actually managed to work with the prima donnas and other legislators to get things done in the stretch. But there was still a lot that “progressives” wanted and couldn’t get. I say it won’t matter as much to Republicans, because they don’t care about boojie shit like “legislation” and “public service” and would rather just stage witch hunts in committee rooms in the afternoon then go on Fox News after 8 pm to brag about how butch they are.
And it seems we don’t even know what Kevin gave away to be King Pissboy. For all the talk that Gaetz and others make about “democracy” and “transparency”, Axios reported that the real details of how the House operates under McCarthy are determined by a “private document that only some House Republicans have seen and others refuse to talk about“. Even conservatives like Nancy Mace of South Carolina told Axios “What I am raising hell about is whatever potential backroom deals may have been done.” So you can imagine what Democrats are thinking. I’m not sure what the Republicans have to hide. I don’t see what could be more discrediting than supporting Kevin McCarthy.

Some of the Republican ideas, like a committee to investigate our dependence on China, and a demand that legislation not be voted on without 72 hours notice, are not bad at all. But even when Republicans could count to eleven without pulling down their pants, you could never get them to do anything that would actually reduce the size of government (again, see the Department of Homeland Security) or protect individual freedom, let alone cut spending and taxes in enough proportion to dent the deficit. So naturally they’re less believable on old “conservative” issues like libertarianism and national defense and more believable on Trumpnik issues like abortion prohibition and pursuing grudges. Like with Ukraine, where their demand to cut funding to the Zelenskyy government is less about fiscal prudence or isolationism and more about the fact that their Master’s Master would rather that he get to complete his genocide without anyone fighting back.

The only problem with letting the kids run the playpen for two years is that we still need two houses of Congress to pass a budget, and most of these brats would rather not pass a budget. Again, not because of any fiscal conservative desire to force Democrats to impose some budget discipline, but because FUCK YOU, That’s Why. They seem to forget that every single time that Republicans forced a government shutdown over the debt, even under Trump, the public relations hit and bureaucratic consequences were such that it always weakened the Republican position in the long run, which is why such standoffs have always ended. But then if Republicans had a long-term memory, they would remember that Joe Biden won the election. As it is, everyone is scared that continued standoff would wreck the US government’s “full faith and credit” and backing of our national debt, which already took a hit in 2011 during the Obama Administration. And if a budget standoff has the global effects that all the conventional thinkers fear, that will end up wrecking the world economy. And as with previous standoffs, voters aren’t going to blame Democrats even if a Democrat is president. Everyone assumes that certain seats are “safe” for Republicans but if they prove themselves to be sufficiently malign and incompetent, even some of those safe Republican states and districts might fall to Democrats, as Georgia and Arizona did in the last few cycles.

At that point Mike Rogers is going to have to get in line behind Mitch McConnell, Dan Crenshaw, and a few other Republicans to kick Matt Gaetz’ ass.

Assuming of course that such cockamamie ideas can even get off the ground. After all, there’s nothing in the Republicans’ little agreement (from what we know of it) that says that a Democrat can’t be the one to call a no-confidence vote on the Speaker. But then they know that if they called that play, the Republicans might go back to conference and find a Speaker with balls.

Like Nancy Pelosi.

HA Ha!

Upon this a question arises: whether it be better to be loved than feared or feared than loved? It may be answered that one should wish to be both, but, because it is difficult to unite them in one person, is much safer to be feared than loved, when, of the two, either must be dispensed with. Because this is to be asserted in general of men, that they are ungrateful, fickle, false, cowardly,covetous, and as long as you succeed they are yours entirely; they will offer you their blood, property, life and children, as is said above, when the need is far distant; but when it approaches they turn against you. And that prince who, relying entirely on their promises, has neglected other precautions, is ruined; because friendships that are obtained by payments, and not by greatness or nobility of mind, may indeed be earned, but they are not secured, and in time of need cannot be relied upon; and men have less scruple in offending one who is beloved than one who is feared, for love is preserved by the link of obligation which, owing to the baseness of men, is broken at every opportunity for their advantage; but fear preserves you by a dread of punishment which never fails.

  • Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince, Chapter XVII

So all the Democrats were fretting and all the Republicans were gloating about all the laws they would get to pass and all the investigations they would get to start against Democrats once they had control over the House of Representatives this term. Except, officially, they’re not in control. Kevin McCarthy (BR.-California) was the designated candidate for Speaker and did get an overwhelming majority of his caucus to make him leader of his party, but unlike the Senate (where unwritten tradition apparently allows the leader of the majority party to run the whole show just because), Article I of the Constitution says the House has to elect its leader by consensus of the entire chamber, including the opposition. Because the Speaker is the presiding officer, no other procedures, including the swearing in of members, can begin until the Speaker is chosen. And since the Republican majority in the House, including the people who voted against McCarthy’s leadership, are only ten more than the Democrats, those opponents only need five votes to torpedo McCarthy’s Speaker bid. Well, guess what. The first round of votes, all 212 Democrats voted for their leader, Hakeem Jeffries (New York) and 19 Republicans went against McCarthy. Since then, they have gone through the same result, as of Thursday night, ten more times. Well, not exactly the same result. In the fourth and subsequent ballots, Victoria Spartz (R.-Indiana) voted “present” which lowered the threshold McCarthy needed but ultimately meant one less vote in his favor since none of the defectors went to his side. On Friday, McCarthy still fell short on a twelfth and thirteenth vote, but got more than ten Republicans back to his side, perhaps because today is the second anniversary of their Viceroy trying to seize control of our government by force, and they wanted to honor the occasion.

This after McCarthy went to any and every length to make sure he had the whole Republican Party behind him in his quest for the Speaker’s office. He admitted on tape after the Trump Riots (TM), “I’ve had it with this guy. What he did is unacceptable” but McCarthy continued to support Trump’s claims that the 2020 election of Joe Biden was illegitimate. For example, he had signed an amicus brief supporting Trump’s case in Texas v. Pennsylvania, which the Supreme Court refused to hear on the grounds that one state cannot contest the election process of another state. Hours after the Trump Riots, McCarthy was one of the Republicans who voted against certifying Biden’s win in two states. On January 28, McCarthy appeared at Mar-a-Lago to take a picture with Trump, an act that the mainstream media described as “kissing Trump’s ring”, since they’re operating on the rules of basic cable. He aceeded to the wishes of Matt Gaetz (BR.-Florida) and other Trumpniks who demanded the excommunication of Liz Cheney (R.-Wyoming) from House leadership for opposing Trump’s auto-coup. This as Kevin insisted, “I don’t think anybody is questioning the legitimacy of the presidential election”. In June 2021, McCarthy opposed the creation of a bipartisan House commission to investigate the Capitol riots, threatening the committee assignments of any Republicans who participated, inadvertently giving a free hand to Speaker Nancy Pelosi to have her own committee with two Republicans, Cheney and retiring Congressman Adam Kinzinger (Illinois) who were already on the outs with the Church of Trump. Which is part of how the committee got recordings that both McCarthy and Cheney had participated in, which might be why Gaetz and the other Trumpniks won’t back him as leader, since they have no more reason to trust what he tells them than Cheney had to trust what he told her.

McCarthy is – what’s the term I’m looking for here? – Ah yes. A “bitch-ass nigga.”

One of my Facebook friends posted that Kevin must have a thing for public humiliation. I said, “I figured that out from his actions immediately after January 6.”

One of the journalists reporting on this for MSDNC said that Kevin McCarthy’s problem is that he can’t change being Kevin McCarthy. No, I would say the problem is the exact opposite. Kevin McCarthy has changed being Kevin McCarthy lots of times. Nobody trusts him, nobody likes him, nobody respects him, and no one will follow him.

Apparently Kevin didn’t figure out that if you’ve already conceded everything to the other party, you have no leverage to make them hold to their side of the deal. But among Kevin’s myriad vices, the foremost of them is stupidity.

The spiritual lesson I get from Kevin McCarthy is that you should never crave a thing so desperately that you make it obvious to others how much you want it. Because then they know how to make you dance on their string.

He’d already agreed to bring back the old House rule (prudently tanked by Pelosi) that members could bring a vote of no confidence in the Speaker if it had just five supporters. After the sixth ballot, McCarthy agreed that McCarthy’s leadership PAC would not spend any money on “safe” seats for Congress, meaning he would not support any candidate who was opposed to the Trumpniks. He has also now agreed that a no-confidence vote only requires one Congressman, so basically anything he does is subject to liberum veto. What is liberum veto? Well, in the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, this was a right of any man in the Sejm (senate) to hold up any legislation at will, meaning one person could thwart an otherwise overwhelming consensus. This weakness in the system made “Polish parliament” an insult term in Western Europe and is considered one of the reasons that the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth declined and died, because Russia (among other countries) figured out they could buy the vote of any Polish senator to stop the Commonwealth from doing anything in its best interest, including stopping Russia from undermining and seizing their territory.

Why am I bringing up Russia buying legislators to act against their own country? No reason.

McCarthy is in a way just as serious about government as his opponents. Any such deal isn’t worth the toilet paper it is written on and will soon be flushed down the john after being used for its natural purpose.

He certainly doesn’t have any serious policy differences with Trumpniks, and Trump himself is pushing for his speakership. But all the pundits cackling over the House defiance of Trump’s dictate fail to realize (as with his endorsement of COVID vaccine) that his influence is entirely negative. Trump just gave a role model to a party base that was already driven by oppositional defiant disorder. When Trump, in his own long-term interest, decides to support the structure rather than tear it down, suddenly the brats don’t listen to him. I mean when you let them get drunk every night, they’re not going to like it when you tell them to switch to milk.

Which is why Matt “Morrissey Called, He Wants His Hairstyle Back” Gaetz admitted when called out by McCarthy that he didn’t care if Hakeem Jeffries ended up getting the speakership, and why Gaetz was seen on the House floor in conversations with people like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who in her previous terms was one of the people who thought Nancy Pelosi wasn’t leftist enough.

What it is is that these guys want all the freedom to be bomb throwers and all the privileges of being in the establishment. They want all the rights and none of the responsibilities. They want to have it both ways. In short, they’re Republicans.

Anti-McCarthy Trumpnik Lauren Boebert engaged in a semi-serious discussion with Stephanie Ruhle on MSDNC, the same week she had a discussion with Sean Hannity that was actually more combative, and you know, give Boebert points for showing up, given that most Republicans don’t see going on MSDNC as being worth the effort, and most of that network’s hosts agree. But one of the points she was trying to make is that for years, no one in the House leadership, in either party, really cared about conservative concerns like balancing the budget, and the only way for that to happen was for the “radicals” to use their leverage.

Reason Magazine had at least one web article this week taking this premise at face value, mocking Mainstream Media for saying these guys only care about personal power when they actually have real procedural concerns, or that they are only serving Trump when the leaders (including Boebert) have specifically gone against him to oppose McCarthy. “None of Mr. McCarthy’s opponents reversed course after receiving calls from Mr. Trump encouraging them to do so,” Lerer and Epstein note. If they are not in it for him, the Times suggests, they must be in it for themselves, because they cannot possibly be trying to accomplish what they say they are trying to accomplish—a proposition so absurd that it is not even worth considering.”

Yes, Charlie Brown, and this time I’ll keep the football on the ground FOR SURE.

The fact that Republicans – and a lot of non-Republicans – had serious questions about how Democrats were running things didn’t mean Republicans had a better idea in 2016. What is absurd is thinking that “conservatives” are any more concerned with fiscal restraint and regular order than they were last year, or when Republicans were last in charge. What is absurd is watching Republican majorities balloon the deficit that much more than Democrats who actually advertise how much they tax and spend. The last time a Republican Speaker seriously tried to change things was Newt Gingrich with the Contract With America, and we all know how that went. The reason the Mainstream Media are so quick to assume the rebels are more concerned with power and privilege than good government is because they have had years and years to watch this process, and know not to take any of these presentations in good faith, unlike Reason Magazine.

Taking the rebels seriously is to act under the assumption that these Republicans think that elected office is a public responsibility, when they think that the purpose of elected office is an opportunity to be the Christian conservative version of GG Allin. But then, given that Allin’s real legal name was Jesus Christ, the analogy may be that much more apt.

But the fact that a small minority is holding up the process underlies the point that the vast majority of House Republicans really do want McCarthy, or at least see him as the best of options. But because of their weak margin of superiority, without the holdouts, Republicans are actually outnumbered by the 212 Democrats voting consistently for Hakeem Jeffries. Nobody considers that if the Democrats are the known element and the Gaetz types are never going to vote McCarthy, the main Republicans actually have the power to make a decision. If they can’t get enough people to go McCarthy they can go outside the cycle and find a conservative that the Gaetz types do not hate, or, some Republicans, even just six, can vote for Jeffries, or Republicans can move for plurality vote, which would either lead to a Jeffries win or scare the radicals with that possibility and convince them to go with the main Republicans’ choice.

But that would mean taking a stand, even if it’s for somebody who is on paper more conservative than McCarthy, and the “normal” Republicans don’t want to alienate either McCarthy or the insurrectionists, just like McCarthy wants to be the leader of “normal” Republicans and also of the insurrectionists.

So they want all the freedom to be bomb throwers and all the privileges of being in the establishment. They want all the rights and none of the responsibilities. They want to have it both ways. In short, they’re Republicans.

And if this is the behavior you can expect from the sane and sensible Republicans, it’s no wonder the lunatics are running the asylum.

Maybe It’s The Beginning Of The End

“So here are the conclusions that this year tells us:

The first, sad conclusion is that there were a lot of lies this year and it must stop.”

-Margarita Simonyan, Russia Today propagandist

There is still a pretty good chance that Donald Trump may again be the Viceroy for Russian North America, if only because the Republican Party isn’t motivated to stop him from being nominated as their candidate. Even though, weeks after announcing a presidential campaign, he really isn’t doing much with it. Early in December he blasted a “MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT” that some people thought might actually be a major announcement relevant to his political strategy, assuming he had one. Which he doesn’t. Instead he did a video where the big announcement was a new line of NFT virtual trading cards featuring Trump in poses like superhero and astronaut (also, policeman, sailor, construction worker, cowboy, Indian chief…). For $99 each, with no guarantee which one you’d get. This was so ridiculous even Trumpworld felt the need to ridicule it. Steve Bannon, on his “War Room” podcast, said “I can’t do this anymore… We’re at war,” Bannon said. “They oughta be fired today.” Bannon’s guest, Sebastian Gorka, said, “Whoever wrote that pitch should be fired and should never be involved” – as if Gorka and Bannon both didn’t know that Trump isn’t going to do anything he doesn’t want to do.

Around the same time, a Trumpnik with the appropriate alias “Baked Alaska”, who got convicted on misdemeanor earlier this year for participating in the Capitol riot, told reporters, “I can’t believe I’m going to jail for an NFT salesman.”

Poor little Trumpniks. They actually thought he was serious. That he cared about something greater than himself.

They thought Trump was going to be their Hard Man. Their version of Vladimir Putin, or at least Rodrigo Duterte. They thought he was gonna kick ass and take names, and anybody who didn’t march in step was gonna be sent to the Gulag.

What they got was Liddle Donnie Clown Boy. What they got was the guy who sells Trump Vodka and Trump Steaks.

And given that Trump doesn’t drink alcohol, and eats steaks well-done with ketchup, they should have figured that he knows just as much about government as he does about liquor and cooking.

(It kind of raises the question of what Trump would do if he had a Food Network show. ‘Next the recipe calls for a tablespoon of kosher salt, which as everybody knows, is salt that only comes from the front part of the cow.’)

It also doesn’t help Trump’s case going towards the 2024 campaign that the Democrats in Congress finally got access to Trump’s tax returns, with just enough time to release them to the public before Republicans take over the House. Investigative journalist and longtime Trump hunter David Cay Johnston came up with his own take, saying “Trump’s Taxes Are the Best Case Yet for Putting Him in Prison” even as he also details why that hasn’t happened yet. As Johnston himself says, whatever tax reforms he would recommend are not going to do any good now because they haven’t been enacted yet, and they probably won’t be, because as he says, the people who benefit from the system as it is are also the donor class, and some of the politicians they sponsor in both parties. Of course most of them don’t have the capacity to appoint their own Treasury Secretary and IRS chief, as Trump did.

His usual weasely presentation has been that he did everything legally and he was just working the system and “that makes me smart” and all that. And that may indeed be true. But if so, it just raises the question, if he didn’t do anything wrong, why was he so desperate to hide what he did?

Well, Johnston’s article also points out: “Perhaps most glaring in the tax returns is that they include 26 Trump businesses—or imaginary businesses—with zero revenue and hundreds of thousands of dollars in tax deductions for expenses.

“Unless Trump can produce records showing the expenses are real and meet other standards to be deductible, that’s fraud. That Trump did it 26 times as a candidate and as president is powerful evidence that he qualifies for prosecution by the federal government and New York State for criminal tax fraud.”

But again, that assumes that someone’s actually going to enforce the law, and most of the reason things got to this point is that nobody does. When Trump wasn’t a politician, it wasn’t considered a priority to go after him, and even after he used his presidency to make himself a national security risk, for that reason, the political establishment now think he’s too big to fail.

This year, when Saturday Night Live again gave Dave Chappelle a host gig the weekend after an election, he said, among many other politically incorrect things, that Trump is very popular, even loved, among some people at least. Because Trump is “an honest liar.” As in, during his first debate, he said “this whole system is rigged!” And when the moderator asked him to demonstrate why, Trump said, “I know the system is rigged, because I USE it.” He said to Hillary Clinton (according to Chappelle), “if you want me to pay my taxes, change the tax code. But I know you won’t, because your friends and your donors enjoy the same tax breaks that I do.’ …And with that, my friends, a star was born.”

It really brings up the old phrase “Hypocrisy is the respect that vice pays to virtue.” Or as I said, a long time ago when this all started: “But when the virtue of honesty is conflated with the vice of rudeness – often by a political class who have good reason to fear honesty – the result is that anyone who wishes to sell rudeness can do so by calling it honesty. And thus a population deprived of the virtue will embrace the vice. It’s like living in the most antiseptic circumstances and then finally being exposed to filth, and your immune system has no experience with it.” We can see simply from the example of Hillary Clinton what hypocrisy leads us to. But if one objects to the vice underlying hypocrisy, obviously the solution is to challenge the vice, not openly embrace it. What we’re seeing is the open embrace of vice, and why it’s not an improvement on hypocrisy. Because when the ruling class can’t even bother to lie anymore, they have no reason to moderate their evil, because they know no one’s going to call them on it.

Much as all those professional Christians that Republicans nominated to the Supreme Court told the Democrats that Roe v. Wade was “settled law” (when it wasn’t), that simply ending Roe wasn’t going to undermine the right to abortion in states that still affirmed it (when it did) and the Dobbs decision didn’t set a precedent on civil rights cases like Obergefell v. Hodges (when it does). We have now reached the dangerous point where the powers that be still feel the need to lie, but can’t even bother to lie WELL.

There is still a need to lie because previous evidence to the contrary, there was still a fear that reactionary forces could have pushed the envelope too far. That maybe, hey, we can’t just admit we’re running an entire country only for the benefit of people who agree with us and fuck everybody else in it. Those other people might get MAD. And, previous evidence to the contrary, this election they actually DID.

The reason a liar continues to lie when lying would be unnecessary or impractical is because to lie is to set up a conflict between what wants to be true and what one knows to be true. Thus, self-deception is the root of any lie. But this means that there are only two ways to resolve the conflict: Either force everyone else to go along with the lie or to give up the lie. And the real problem occurs when the outside world makes it clear it will not be forced.

Ukraine is just a more visceral example. My quote at the beginning was from Margarita Simonyan, a “journalist” for Russia Today, the main media service of the Putin government. It was part of a year-end review of Russia’s performance, or lack thereof, in the “special military operation” against the “Nazi” government of Ukraine. Now, simply because one is a propagandist doesn’t mean one can’t tell the truth. Just because one might prefer to believe the Ukrainian government doesn’t mean they don’t engage in propaganda. But it comes down to the fact that you don’t have to “believe” anything but the facts. If Russia were winning in Ukraine, it would be a lot easier for them to say so. If they had actually managed to take the capital in three days, they could have filmed it. Russia and Ukraine can say anything they want about who’s winning, but I believe Ukraine is winning by simple virtue of the fact that they’re still around. We’ve heard that some people can make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear, but that requires a sow’s ear. Russia doesn’t even have a sow’s ear to work with, which is why even their propaganda ministries are unable to point to victories that haven’t happened and instead point fingers everywhere except where the problem starts.

For a shill like Simonyan to truly stop the lies, she would have to start with the first obvious one: That Ukraine is just a “little Russia”, that it doesn’t really exist as its own nationality and that therefore Russia can just walk in and take it without anybody seriously trying to stop them. But by implication that would mean challenging the greater premise that supports it: That you can have faith in a ruthless leader whose decisions are more wise the more unaccountable he becomes. Ending that belief would challenge her whole world view, and she’s not going to do that. Likewise an American fascist like Steve Bannon might admit that his Leader is capable of error, but he’s going to go back to serving Trump, like he has in the past. Where else is he going to go? What else is he going to do? Be normal???

You cannot expect these people to just evolve or grow out of it. On an individual level, people who aren’t fully invested in the lie may realize it isn’t working out for them and quit supporting it, which is a big part of why Democratic candidates won in 2022, either because of Republicans voting for them or simply not voting at all. But the people who are most invested have the most to lose, and not just in terms of money. The best and brightest of the fascists might be capable of acknowledging the facts against them, but they are too emotional to grasp why the facts are against them, because that would challenge their whole view of reality.

We cannot assume that the bad guys will just see the error of their ways, or just die out. Trump and Putin may be old, but they’re not dying fast enough. And even if they died tomorrow, their proteges would be waiting in the wings, because they’ve been taught to think that bad behavior would be rewarded. The only thing that disincentivizes bad behavior is to quit rewarding it. And that means actively resisting it, either on the battlefield or the ballot box. That does not guarantee success, let alone some utopian future, but for quite some time – a little bit before Brexit and Trump, actually – it seemed as though the forces of regression had the upper hand, and were going to direct the world. This autumn the rest of the world showed they would, and could, fight back. And that might be a turning point, a beginning of the end for “post-liberal” lying and corruption.

That might actually be a Happy New Year.

The Art of Modern War

“I don’t need a ride, I need ammo.”

-Ukrainian President Volodomyr Zelenskyy, February 2022

“I don’t need ammo, I need a ride.”

– Russian Armed Forces, September 2022

Welcome back my friends, to the war that never ends.
On November 11, which we celebrate as Veterans’ Day from the Armistice of World War I in the West (in Russia, they weren’t quite so lucky), Ukraine liberated the city of Kherson, capital of Kherson Oblast, the only major regional capital that Russia managed to capture in 2022. It was a surprise how suddenly it happened. Less than three days before, Russia controlled a large territory on the west bank of the Dnipro River which comes into the Black Sea near Kherson. On November 9, Ukraine retook the town of Snihurivka, which is about 59 kilometers drive from Kherson city. And now Ukraine’s military is in Kherson’s center.
It was not expected to be this easy. Given the Putin government’s general contempt for human rights, everyone in the West expected Russia’s telegraphed withdrawal from the area to be a giant trap, with garrisons hiding in the cities to snipe at Ukrainian troops, or worse, Russia blowing the dam on the east side of the river to flood the city and delta, causing thousands of casualties. That didn’t happen, or if there are any traps, no one has seen them yet. On YouTube, the channel Combat Veteran Reacts pointed out that Russia needed to secure bridges to get people across before blowing them up to stop the enemy. With temporary pontoon bridges, they’re usually only one vehicle wide, which means you might have a max of 50 troops in an APC cross the river at a time. That would of course assume that everyone was retreating in good order. “What appears maybe to have happened is that instead of a systematic careful withdrawal that Ukraine can exploit, the Russians just… heard a withdrawal order on the TV, literally picked up their rifles, got into any vehicle, and just drove to the river.” Which, as with their retreat from Kharkiv Oblast in September means leaving a lot of military equipment behind, only worse because the earlier campaign was over more open terrain.

Since then the war has become a bit more stagnant, but as the weather worsens, Russia has tried to press for what advantage it can, mainly by pushing for the east-central town of Bakhmut, which most Western military analysts think has little strategic value. By contrast, Ukraine took not only the Kherson area west of the Dnipro, they really changed the course of the war by taking back most of the Kharkiv oblast due northeast of their capital, Kyiv. That was some time after they had managed to defend the capital well enough to make Russia retreat from their offensive there. Overall, since Vladimir Putin started his war of choice in February 24, 2022, Ukraine has taken back roughly half of the territory that Russia managed to seize at the high mark of their invasion progress.

It is the most impressive military campaign in Europe since World War II. And one of the ironies is that while Putin has tried to combine the reactionary politics of the Orthodox Church with the statism and organized power of the Soviet Union, part of Ukraine’s success is that, intentionally or not, they are doing a better job with World War II Soviet military theory than the Russians.

The Soviet approach to land warfare was called deep operation, or deep battle doctrine, and it was so called because it dealt with not only tactics and strategy but also what the US military now calls the operational level of a military campaign, dealing with the totality of both tactical and strategic affairs. According to the Wikipedia article, “It was a tenet that emphasized destroying, suppressing or disorganizing enemy forces not only at the line of contact but also throughout the depth of the battlefield. …The goal of a deep operation was to inflict a decisive strategic defeat on the enemy’s logistical abilities and render the defence of their front more difficult, impossible, or indeed irrelevant. ” In military history, the theory was most associated with Mikhail Tukhachevsky, a marshal who got executed in Stalin’s purges, but after Hitler betrayed Stalin and invaded Soviet Russia, Marshal Zhukov and other generals re-developed it and put it to use against the Axis. However the first theorist to name the theory was Vladimir Trianadfillov, a Soviet general who died in 1931.

Deep battle’s emphasis on mobile warfare and encirclement resembled the Germans’ contemporary ‘blitzkrieg’ tactics (which themselves borrowed from maverick generals in Britain and France) but according to its name, went deeper in intention and results. From the article:

“Blitzkrieg emphasized the importance of a single strike on a Schwerpunkt (focal point) as a means of rapidly defeating an enemy; deep battle emphasized the need for multiple breakthrough points and reserves to exploit the breach quickly. The difference in doctrine can be explained by the strategic circumstances for the Soviet Union and Germany at the time. Germany had a smaller population but a better-trained army, and the Soviet Union had a larger population but a less-trained army. As a result, Blitzkrieg emphasized narrow front attacks in which quality could be decisive, but deep battle emphasized wider front attacks in which quantity could be used effectively.

“In principle, the Red Army would seek to destroy the enemy’s operational reserves and its operational depth and occupy as much of his strategic depth as possible. Within the Soviet concept of deep operations was the principle of strangulation if the situation demanded it, instead of physically encircling the enemy and destroying him immediately. Triandafillov stated in 1929:

The outcome in modern war will be attained not through the physical destruction of the opponent but rather through a succession of developing manoeuvres that will aim at inducing him to see his ability to comply further with his operational goals. The effect of this mental state leads to operational shock or system paralysis, and ultimately to the disintegration of his operational system. The success of the operational manoeuvre is attained through all-arms combat (combined arms) at the tactical level, and by combining a frontal holding force with a mobile column to penetrate the opponent’s depth at the operational level. The element of depth is a dominant factor in the conduct of deep operations both in the offensive and defensive.”

This differed from blitzkrieg and “Clausewitzian” principles of destroying enemy units in the field, which was the main focus of Germany in the two World Wars. The article states that the major example of this approach was Operation Uranus, the Soviet encirclement of the German Sixth Army at Stalingrad; once the Germans were committed in the city, the weaker military units guarding the flanks were routed and the Germans were cut off from any escape. At that point the Soviets simply waited for winter and lack of supply to defeat the Germans in the city. The Battle of Stalingrad ended up capturing 91,000 Axis soldiers.

The other term used for this military approach in World War II was maskirovka (masquerade), basically deceiving the Germans as to where the Soviet offensive was going to move so that the Axis would try to defend in a different area and then the Soviets would attack at a weak point. What Americans might call “hit ’em where they ain’t.” Not unlike what the Western Allies did in 1944 when they made all their maneuvering in Britain look like our invasion of Nazi Europe was going to start in Calais (a narrower point in the English Channel than Normandy and closer to both Paris and Germany) so that the Nazi garrisons were concentrated there instead of the real invasion points (in Normandy) so that Normandy was less defended and the Allies had more time and space to expand the beach heads.

Ukraine, with its relatively small army and pre-war lack of mobile forces, is not really able to perform Nazi or Soviet style encirclements of Russians on the battlefield. But they have still been operating as much on an operational as a tactical level, with the Kharkiv offensive in particular being not so much simply engaging the enemy directly as wearing down their front and support lines before attacking so that the offensive was on their terms. As with maskirovka, the principal element was feinting moves to make Russia believe that the main offensive was going toward Kherson city. US military support was critical in this regard, as HIMARS missile batteries were used to strike behind Russian lines up to 70 kilometers, hitting critical supply and ammunition depots. Another huge factor in Ukraine’s success with deception is its greater mastery of modern information war; one Ukrainian official said “They are blind, we see everything.” Ukrainian strikes behind the lines also included attacks on Russian radar systems and the use of anti-aircraft systems to counter Russian drones and air missions. By September 6, Ukrainian forces had amassed at a focal point in Balakliia, dazing Russian forces and causing a rapid retreat. By September 9, Ukraine had reached Kupiansk, a major rail and transportation hub, undermining Russia’s ability to resupply and redeploy in the sector and contributing to the armed forces’ decision to withdraw to the Oskil river. But in October Ukraine continued the offensive and managed to reach as far as Kreminna before Russia managed to regroup and push back. In the wake of all this Russia’s forces were further deteriorated by loss of equipment, partially because of Ukraine’s rapid advance but also because Russian attempts to blow bridges frequently occured before they could get tanks and heavy equipment across, and as Russian troops simply abandoned their defense posts.

Which only brings up the point that as cunning as Ukraine’s strategy has been up to this point, its success has at least as much to do with the deficiencies of the Russian side.

Putin launched his invasion in February apparently on the assumption that Ukraine’s field defenses were just going to break, he would be able to take Kyiv, and then whatever rump government managed to hold the west of Ukraine would eventually accede to whatever stooge he wanted to impose on them. He may have thought this because President Zelenskyy really wasn’t that popular at home before the war started, or because the West hadn’t done anything to help Ukraine after Russia’s previous violations of Ukrainian territory in 2014 and after. Indeed, part of Putin’s escalation to full-scale war was his diplomatic recognition of the pro-Russia Luhansk and Donetsk “republics” on Ukraine’s eastern border with Russia, and the fact that Ukraine had been fighting those separatists on a low level for years despite lack of Western support should have told Putin that his “special military operation” wasn’t going to be just a three-hour tour.

A large part of this is the relative lack of presence of the Russian Air Force. Many of its Sukhoi models of close air support craft are outdated by 21st Century standards. The Ukrainians’ use of anti-aircraft batteries, even before high-level NATO support, demonstrated greater efficiency for the value than Russian offensive air and contributed to making Russian pilots “risk averse.” Part of that is because Russian craft are more reliant on unguided weapons, meaning they have to get close to the target to fire. The overall problem is that Russia’s military does not train their pilots intensively, with their flying time roughly 100 hours per year, less than one-third that of their NATO counterparts. More skilled pilots would be better able to reach “dynamic” targets and still survive.

That hollowness and lack of support point to an even more fundamental problem with Russia’s military. In October, a lieutenant general reported that 1.5 sets of military uniforms had gone missing. Apparently this was 1.5 million sets of uniforms that were supposed to be on record and are now unaccounted for. These were supposed to include winter uniforms. And as the Starks would say, winter is coming. Such gear as they do have is not optimized for winter and is made out of synthetic materials to save costs. Corruption is endemic in the entire Russian government, leading to a military that is more designed for the elites to profit from graft than to perform its national defense or attack purposes. “Most companies responsible for providing food to the Russian military are connected to Yevgeny Prigozhin — the patron of PMC Wagner, the mercenary organization, and sponsor of the Internet Research Agency, which has been accused of meddling in the United States elections. ” The military’s performance in the Ukraine invasion was foreshadowed by the fact that just a few days after the first attacks, Russia, the greatest fuel exporter in Europe, had army vehicles stuck on the road for lack of gas. The country uses tanks dating back from the 1980s and earlier. And of course it has absolutely no regard for information security, which is why social media has so many examples of Russian soldiers calling home from war zones. So if everyone on YouTube knows where the Russians are and what they’re doing, certainly the Ukrainian Armed Forces do.

So you have a Russian invader force that is easily monitored by Ukraine, poorly equipped, poorly organized, with no one knowing what they’re doing, no chain of command who can tell grunts what the mission is and what to do if conditions change, no one cares about anything besides getting through the day or how much they can scam from the war zone, and no one really wants to be there besides Vladimir Putin. And every day their support network is being hammered by Ukraine so it would be that much harder to hold a position once Ukraine actually advances. And then one day, they advance.

The end result was the ultimate example of “quiet quitting.”

Putin says on one hand that Ukraine is essentially Russia and there is no such thing as Ukraine, but then he forgot why you don’t want to start a war with Russia. Even if YOU ARE Russia.

Moreover, like any good fascist, Putin seems to think that that which he wishes to be so therefore is so. He seems to think that because the “traditional Russia” exists in his mind, that his country still has the tools of traditional Russia, namely an inexhaustible manpower reserve. Like, the Germans could kill all the Russians they wanted and there would still be more. That’s not the case any more, and it hasn’t been the case for quite some time. According to Wikipedia: “From the 1990s to 2001, Russia’s death rate had exceeded its birth rate, which has been called a demographic crisis by analysts. Subsequently, the nation has an ageing population, with the median age of the country being 40.3 years. In 2009, Russia recorded annual population growth for the first time in fifteen years; and during the mid-2010s, Russia had seen increased population growth due to declining death rates, increased birth rates and increased immigration. However, since 2020, due to excess deaths from the COVID-19 pandemic, Russia’s population has undergone its largest peacetime decline in recorded history. In 2020, the total fertility rate across Russia was estimated to be 1.5 children born per woman, which is below the replacement rate of 2.1 and about equal to the European average.” Also, in 1941, the Russian fertility rate (number of children born to each woman) was 4.6. In 1945 it was 1.92. The previously higher fertility rates did not lead to an overall population increase because of Russia’s Civil War, the two world wars and “political killings”.
This is of course why Putin invaded Ukraine with a peacetime army not nearly the size needed to subdue the population and army of Ukraine, and the failure of that was not even so much because of not having 300,000 more men but because Russia didn’t have the supplies to cover the force it did have.

Which all adds up to the fact that Russia simply doesn’t have the wherewithal to run a military the size of the Soviet Union. Heck, the Soviet Union couldn’t afford a military the size of the Soviet Union’s, which was a large part of why the Cold War ended.

Less than two days after appearing at the battlefield in Bakhmut, Ukrainian President Volodomyr Zelenskyy made a surprise flight (most likely unannounced for security reasons) to Washington DC, appearing at a press conference with President Biden on December 21 to petition the US government for more military support. He then appeared to a joint session of Congress, much as Winston Churchill spoke to Congress just after Pearl Harbor, the difference being that Churchill probably had less fascist sympathizers on the Republican side of the aisle. But Zelenskyy said at one point that most Ukrainians would be celebrating Christmas this holiday by candlelight, not out of sentiment, but because of Russian attacks on their infrastructure. But he continued, “we will celebrate Christmas, and even if there is no electricity, the light of our faith in ourselves will not be put out.”

It gets to a point that applies to both Ukrainians and Russians this winter, which one of the MSNBC talking heads made when they found out about Zelenskyy’s visit Wednesday morning. Quoting Napoleon, he said: “In war, the moral is to the physical as three is to one.”

MAGAGA!!!

“And so the first returns are in, and the Silly Party has taken Leicester! What do you think of that- Norman?”

“Well, yes, the election went much as I predicted, except that the Silly Party won.”

-“Election Night”, Monty Python’s Flying Circus

So now, finally, the 2022 midterms are over. In the Georgia runoff, incumbent Democratic Senator Raphael Warnock won – barely – against college football star and Trump friend Herschel Walker, who got a huge amount of Republican turnout despite or likely because being as dumb as an entire store full of left shoes and picked only because Trump wanted him and the rest of the Republicans thought this was the ideal Black candidate. If nothing else, we now know why it’s better to be a werewolf than a vampire: Warnock is an ordained minister, and Clerics can’t turn werewolves.

Now, given that even before this, Democrats had managed to keep 50 seats in the Senate and held the House Republicans to a five-seat majority (who probably aren’t in consensus about their leadership) the conventional wisdom from everyone was that Donald Trump was to blame for pushing a whole bunch of election-liar candidates who wanted to skew state governments to make sure no one could elect Democrats again. That and, the Alito Court’s decision to strike down Roe v. Wade attracted a surprising amount of anger. Well, it surprised Republicans, anyway. Hey, Mr. Alito, it turns out that women had the right to choose after all. Maybe while you were obviating the 14th Amendment and completely ignoring the Ninth, you could have used your magical legal bullshit to eliminate the 19th Amendment and take away women’s right to vote. It would have made things so much easier for your Party.

Usually in a midterm election, voters kick out the party in power. Except, people perceived, not just because of the Dobbs decision, that the party in power isn’t so much the Biden Democrats as the Trump Republicans. Supposedly even before the election, Trump told insiders that creating a pro-life supermajority on the Supreme Court wasn’t going to help him politically, and it’s another one of the factors that pin the blame on him for Republican performance.

That’s one of the reasons why Republicans supposedly begged the former Russian Viceroy to hold off on announcing a re-election campaign until after the election, but just one week afterward, November 15, he made this big presentation at Mar-a-Lago and announced he was running to stay out of prison for President of the United States. Those who actually bothered to watch said it was a great example of what Trump used to call “low energy.” Such that the press caught some people trying to leave the room.

Anyway, somewhere inside a speech that was so wandering and tedious that even Laura Ingraham cut away from it, Trump said he was going to “make America great and glorious again.”

MAGAGA!

Isn’t that Lady Gaga’s final form?

But the problem with paying any attention to this at all is that I simply don’t have time to. In the time between the general election, the Trump announcement and the Georgia runoff, Trump actually managed to get himself involved in multiple fuckups. On the way to Make America Gross And Ghetto Again, Trump decided to host Kanye West at Mar-a-Lago. Kanye West, who now legally goes by “Ye.” (I assume this is supposed to be ‘yay’ as in the last syllable, but I pronounce it ‘yee’ as in Ye Gads.) He has recently been accompanied everywhere by “traditional Catholic” and white supremacist Nick Fuentes, acting as Ye’s wannabe Salacious Crumb. If you don’t know who Fuentes is, congratulations, you have a life. If you actually want to know, just do a Google search on the phrase WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR CHIN? Anyway, Kanye has been erratic for quite some time, as anybody who follows hip-hop could tell you, but he really started acting crazy – by Kanye standards – when he twitted that he was going to go “death con 3 on JEWISH PEOPLE”. Except DEFCON is an abbreviation and he actually spelled it ‘death’. You would think a black man would know how to spell DEF. Whatever. It got to where Ye and Fuentes appeared on Alex Jones’ show (with Ye wearing full-body clothing and a full mask with zip holes for the eyes, apparently to keep TheJews from injecting him with nanotech) and everyone thought, “Wow, I hope Alex Jones can talk some sense into this guy.”

Ye, like Trump, was also supported by Elon Musk at Twitter at least until Ye said he would allow the banned Alex Jones to post from his account, posted a swastika inside a Star of David, and when threatened by Musk, posted his “final tweet” as a picture of Musk getting hosed down at the beach. (‘I love free speech so much, I’m letting Q people and racists back!’ ‘Hey boss, Kanye posted a pic of you looking whiter than a night light.’ ‘Ban his ass.’) Not that Elon gave up on trying to help Trump: This last week he made an arrangement with Gonzo journalist Matt Taibbi to release “The Twitter Files” – on Twitter – being a set of internal communications where Twitter staff debated whether to release emails from Hunter Biden’s pilfered laptop three weeks before the 2020 election. They eventually decided against doing so, but without consulting then-head and Twitter founder Jack Dorsey, who now calls their decision a mistake. The staff had also consulted left-wing free speech advocate Congressman Ro Khanna (D.-California) who recommended against killing the story.
And you know where this is going. In order to Make America Goonish And Garish Again, Trump committed his compound fuckup. Posting on his Truf Censhal platform, he said, “So, with the revelation of MASSIVE & WIDESPREAD FRAUD & DECEPTION in working closely with Big Tech Companies, the DNC, & the Democrat Party, do you throw the Presidential Election Results of 2020 OUT and declare the RIGHTFUL WINNER, or do you have a NEW ELECTION? A Massive Fraud of this type and magnitude allows for the termination of all rules, regulations, and articles, even those found in the Constitution. Our great ‘Founders’ did not want, and would not condone, False & Fraudulent Elections!”

This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

But here is the crux of the issue that lit the fuse on Trump’s tampon: “The Biden campaign asked Twitter to review five tweets, which were later deleted. Taibbi did not disclose the content of the Biden campaign requests, presenting only their URLs; …four tweets contained nude photos and videos of Hunter Biden, which violate Twitter policy and California law as revenge porn.” Again, the joke to me is that Twitter HAS a policy. Based on history, especially now, I thought anybody could post snuff films and prolapse porn and it’s all good.

But apparently Hunter Biden’s penis doesn’t impress most Americans as much as it impresses Republicans. Especially when the main story of this became not an alleged collusion to keep the Biden family from being smeared, but the owner of the Republican Party demanding to terminate the Constitution, in so doing violating his previous oath and creating incriminating evidence in any case against him for the January 6 riot.

Now, the fact that a lot of this mishegoss involved James Baker, a Twitter legal counsel who was also part of James Comey’s FBI investigation into Trump caused a lot of the Right to think, “Oh, praise Jesus, we’ve finally got something on these Demonrats.” But Tuesday the Trump Organization tax fraud trial in New York returned 17 charges as 17 guilty verdicts. And while Trump himself was not personally indicted, suddenly Hunter Biden and his Dad didn’t seem so crooked and evil anymore.

All of which – and it’s a lot, even for this guy – have caused the political-media complex to think that Trump is at his weakest moment, and that if there was ever a time for the Republican Party to get rid of him, it’s now.

HaHaHa.

No.

Sure the smart Republicans are saying they should get rid of Trump. The smart people have known that Trump is bad news for years. The smart people aren’t the ones running the Republican Party. The Party isn’t run by heartless manipulators like Mitch McConnell and Rupert Murdoch. It isn’t run by functionaries like Paul Ryan or Kevin McCarthy. It’s run by people like Lauren “Bubblehead” Boebert and Matt “Morrissey Called, He Wants His Hairstyle Back” Gaetz. People who either are as dumb and venal as they seem or are putting on an act to appeal to voters who are even worse.

They dismiss the critiques of liberals, “liberal” apparently being anybody who thinks that a mob coup is illegal. They say it all comes down to “Orange Man Bad.” Well, YES. Orange Man Bad. Also: White slavery bad. Leprosy bad. Cancer bad. Why are we debating the given? The problem is not Orange Man Bad, the problem is that the modern Republican Party could defend and support cancer as long as cancer helped them ban abortion.

Trump’s sorta like Hitler. Except Hitler liked dogs. And he served in the military. And he didn’t cheat on his girlfriend.
Now you may be going, “No, No. Stop. Why are you acting like Trump is worse than Hitler? Hitler was Hitler.” Exactly. I’m saying, if the Trumpniks want to sell my country to some idiot clownboy who’s not even AS good as Hitler, maybe we should cut the Germans some slack.

Maybe we should quit thinking America is “exceptional” and admit we were just lucky.

Maybe, just as people of Russian and Chinese and German ethnicity can move to this country and adopt that can-do, optimistic, individualist American spirit, so it is possible for Americans to adopt the sullen, collectivist, Sklavmoral mindset of Russians or Nazi-era Germans, if the local culture changes enough.

Trump might be a loathsome mass of all potential human vices, congealed into something resembling a humanoid form, but if one were to judge from his positions prior to getting into politics, you could see why some made the case that he could be a good leader. He didn’t always agree with Republican orthodoxy and he clearly didn’t care about following the party’s internal political correctness. Unfortunately what seemed like pragmatism was simply not having a moral core beyond “anything that gets me what I want is good”.

Even more unfortunately, that description also fits most of the people who worship Trump, including all the Good Christians (TM) who were amazingly eager to discard their decorum and moralism as long as government trampled over all that procedural stuff that conservatives used to favor. Like, the Constitution.

For all the huffing and handwringing in the media and the Republican Party about Trump palling around with terrorists and wanting to get rid of the Constitution, they really shouldn’t be acting so surprised. And both the Republican establishment and the liberal media should quit acting like this is gonna make a difference. You notice that for the last six years, Trump has always been pushing it. The “good” Republicans and establishment people (including people in his own inner circle) have always tried to pull him back towards respectability. That never works. He always pulls them further and further into the slime. Because he’s been betting that they need him more than he needs them, and so far, that bluff has not been called.

Because if it is, Trump can always take his ball and go home, that “ball” being his voter base. And for both moral and long-term practical reasons, the Republican Party really should cut him off and make it clear that they don’t want to have the kind of people that Trump encourages in the Party. But the implication there is that without those people, they won’t even be as competitive in national elections as they are now, cause this is the base they’ve been cultivating for years before him. He simply said the sort of stuff they were saying to themselves and wouldn’t admit cause that would make them unpopular with the rest of the country. Trump showed them they didn’t have to care about that. He gave the base the freedom to be their worst selves. He gave the base the freedom to be … base.

As I say, it’s horrible enough that these guys emulate the Nazis, but the problem is they’re so BAD at it.

Not even the original Nazis. I mean, back in the ’70s, the ACLU took flak because they defended the right of Illinois Nazis to protest in a Jewish neighborhood in Skokie. Hey, remember when that sort of thing WASN’T tolerated by an establishment political party? But this is them:

Look at these guys. Clean-cut, uniformed, capable of marching in formation, and I can’t see from here, but the slogans they’re carrying are probably grammatically correct.

Now think of the guys who stormed the Capitol. Fat, slovenly, unshaven and just bringing whatever odd gear they had to the riot like it was a BYOB (Bring Your Own Bombs).

I’m just saying, our standards for fascism have really gone downhill.

I mean, if Nazi Germany invaded the Soviet Union and their tanks had the little metal testicles dangling off the back, that would be the Republican Party right now.

Again, Trump IS the base and the base IS Trump. Who in the Republican political class is more like the Republican Party than Trump? Even if they trained to walk with their knuckles at waist level and learned how to talk English gooder, they wouldn’t mean it. And the more civilized Republicans are no longer able to cover for them, because the agenda has been laid bare. And Democrats have been stewing over all those Supreme Court appointees mouthing “settled law” so many times, even they might have figured out they should quit trusting conservatives.


So why NOT keep supporting Trump? The alternative would be to… actually come up with common-sense, centrist and right-wing ideas that would appeal to the general public. But then they’d have to admit the general public into the movement, and then they would no longer have the freedom to be their worst selves. If they could appeal to the wider public, they wouldn’t be who they are.

So for the next two years (at least) they’re going to keep goosestepping behind Trump so he can Make America Gallant And Goofus Again. Reagan would not have recognized this party, but Barry Goldwater would have. He was the one who said “Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the party, and they’re sure trying to do so, it’s going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten me. Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can’t and won’t compromise. I know, I’ve tried to deal with them.” But in a lesser-known quote on similar lines, he said: “Those who seek absolute power, even though they seek it to do what they regard as good, are simply demanding the right to enforce their own version of heaven on earth. And let me remind you, they are the very ones who always create the most hellish tyrannies. Absolute power does corrupt, and those who seek it must be suspect and must be opposed. Their mistaken course stems from false notions of equality, ladies and gentlemen. Equality, rightly understood, as our founding fathers understood it, leads to liberty and to the emancipation of creative differences. Wrongly understood, as it has been so tragically in our time, it leads first to conformity and then to despotism. Fellow Republicans, it is the cause of Republicanism to resist concentrations of power, private or public, which enforce such conformity and inflict such despotism. It is the cause of Republicanism to ensure that power remains in the hands of the people.”

But this party seems to think that’s commie wokeness or whatever their influencers have told them to hate this week.

It continues to marginalize conservatives and libertarians like myself, who stupidly believed that the Right was about creating a limited constitutional republic and free-market economy, as opposed to trolling the libs and giving more power to the already privileged because one identifies with them as opposed to your fellow working stiffs. Cause apparently the toadies and trolls are more numerous than the liberty caucus, or at least more motivated.

Unfortunately for them, the last election, which should have been the best opportunity for Republicans to make gains against a flawed and unpopular Biden Administration, demonstrated that this approach isn’t going to work with the voting public, even with all the state and federal rules in their favor. The only route left is another coup. In which case, they have to hope that their militia are not as incompetent as their lawyers and legislators have proven to be. But you know what they say: “A failed coup that isn’t punished isn’t a failure, it’s just a rehearsal.”

So step up, Republicans, it’s time to Make America Greedy And Gullible Again!
Or is that Make America Gluttonous And Grabby Again?

We’re still working this out.

A Sermon To The Republican Party

From the First Book of Samuel, Chapter 8 (King James Version):

And it came to pass, when Samuel was old, that he made his sons judges over Israel.

Now the name of his firstborn was Joel; and the name of his second, Abiah: they were judges in Beersheba.

And his sons walked not in his ways, but turned aside after lucre, and took bribes, and perverted judgment.

Then all the elders of Israel gathered themselves together, and came to Samuel unto Ramah,

And said unto him, Behold, thou art old, and thy sons walk not in thy ways: now make us a king to judge us like all the nations.

But the thing displeased Samuel, when they said, Give us a king to judge us. And Samuel prayed unto the Lord.

And the Lord said unto Samuel, Hearken unto the voice of the people in all that they say unto thee: for they have not rejected thee, but they have rejected me, that I should not reign over them.

According to all the works which they have done since the day that I brought them up out of Egypt even unto this day, wherewith they have forsaken me, and served other gods, so do they also unto thee.

Now therefore hearken unto their voice: howbeit yet protest solemnly unto them, and shew them the manner of the king that shall reign over them.

10 And Samuel told all the words of the Lord unto the people that asked of him a king.

11 And he said, This will be the manner of the king that shall reign over you: He will take your sons, and appoint them for himself, for his chariots, and to be his horsemen; and some shall run before his chariots.

12 And he will appoint him captains over thousands, and captains over fifties; and will set them to ear his ground, and to reap his harvest, and to make his instruments of war, and instruments of his chariots.

13 And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cooks, and to be bakers.

14 And he will take your fields, and your vineyards, and your oliveyards, even the best of them, and give them to his servants.

15 And he will take the tenth of your seed, and of your vineyards, and give to his officers, and to his servants.

16 And he will take your menservants, and your maidservants, and your goodliest young men, and your asses, and put them to his work.

17 He will take the tenth of your sheep: and ye shall be his servants.

18 And ye shall cry out in that day because of your king which ye shall have chosen you; and the Lord will not hear you in that day.

19 Nevertheless the people refused to obey the voice of Samuel; and they said, Nay; but we will have a king over us;

20 That we also may be like all the nations; and that our king may judge us, and go out before us, and fight our battles.

21 And Samuel heard all the words of the people, and he rehearsed them in the ears of the Lord.

22 And the Lord said to Samuel, Hearken unto their voice, and make them a king. And Samuel said unto the men of Israel, Go ye every man unto his city.

The Word of the Lord.

And like I said, why should I believe this stuff when clearly you don’t?

People I Can Be Thankful For

If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?

-Cormac McCarthy, No Country For Old Men

Of course this is the week that we’re all supposed to give thanks for what good fortune we had this year and to specify what exactly we are thankful for. Off the top of my head, I can give thanks to at least two people this year.

The first, perhaps not surprisingly, is Donald Trump. The Republican Party has failed to gain more than ten seats in a Congressional midterm where a Democrat was president, and Trumpnik Republican candidates have largely failed to win key races for state government. This historic failure to perform is almost entirely because the Party felt the need to stay in Trump’s good graces and so agreed to nominate election-liar candidates like Adam Laxalt for US Senator in Nevada, Doug Mastriano as Governor in Pennsylvania, and pretty much every Republican in Arizona. All of whom lost.

Now, of course Trump was already planning to announce his wonderful re-election campaign to be Vladimir Putin’s Viceroy for Russian North America, and he was hoping he would get a huge boost from supporting all these candidates who were supposed to sweep against an unpopular Democratic Party and Biden Administration. It turns out, there’s one thing more unpopular than the Biden Democratic Party, and that’s the Trump Republican Party. So that meant Liddle Donnie Clown Boy didn’t get the big push he was hoping for in his campaign announcement. Worse than that, the truly amazing performance of Florida Governor Ron DeSantis and some other Republicans (like Georgia Governor Brian Kemp) who are just as authoritarian as Trump but not as erratic mean that for the first time since 2016, some Republicans are actually advocating for someone else to be President. Of course Trump has to run anyway, basically to stay out of prison, but it’s getting that much harder. In a further act of disloyalty, “his” Supreme Court ordered that he must hand over his tax returns to a House investigative committee. The fact that Democrats won’t have charge of the House after December doesn’t matter, because they can share those documents with Senate committees, and the Senate hasn’t changed over to the Republicans. Again, largely because of the Party going along with Trump’s incompetence.

None of all the establishment Republican huffing and puffing against Trump is going to make much difference, because the professionals haven’t been in charge for a while. I plan to write in much greater detail about this subject, but I am thankful for Donald Trump because he always wants to make everything about him, even when he isn’t on the ballot. And by forcing his party to go along with his Big Lie, he did indeed make the election all about him, because everyone knew that all of those Church of Trump candidates for Governor and Secretary of State were going to change the rules to protect their party, and Trump in particular, from competition in 2024. So he made this election matter about as much as 2024, and a whole bunch of people, probably including some conservatives, realized we had to put a stop to that campaign this year. And we did. And in the process we made it a little less likely that Trump’s scheme to grab power again will work.

Again, none of this is going to stop “the base” from goosestepping in line to elect Trump so that they’ll never have to vote again, but that’s the other reason to be thankful. If Trump’s lies and schemes forced the non-Republican part of the country to move actively against him – which required acting against his Party – he’s forcing Republican and conservative influencers to consider if their slavish loyalty was worth it in the long run. A party that literally is only a Party of Trump, that is only about catering to his whims and delusions, cannot survive. And yet it has taken over precisely because celebrity worship and irrationality are more prized in the public sphere than professionalism and intellect. To really address the broader problem we need to address a culture that would make somebody like Trump president, which is where I get to the other person I want to thank:

Elon Musk.

I have already gone over how much Musk is fucking over Twitter, but apparently he’s not done. In his continuing tilt to squeeze a profit out of a medium that has never been profitable, Musk decided to fire a whole bunch of technical employees only to ask them to come back because they were fired “by mistake” or because he needed them to handle software issues that he didn’t realize needed to be dealt with. It turns out two of these people never worked there in the first place and were just trolling the company. I had said that the Occam’s Razor explanation for Musk’s erratic behavior is that he made a deal without knowing what he was doing or how to run this particular company, and he is hardly disabusing me of that notion.

I now put Elon Musk on a list with Rudy Guiliani and Vladimir Putin – men whom I used to think were intelligent. It turns out they’re just latter-day cases of the Peter Principle. The Peter Principle, for those who didn’t grow up in the ’70s, states that “In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.” Consequently, “In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties.” Like, maybe Vladimir Putin’s skill set at destroying opposition on a political level led him to believe he could invade the largest country in Europe other than Russia, with draftees and trainees and inadequate air support and logistics for the operation, and get the capital to fall in three days. Almost a year after the fact, that doesn’t seem to be the case.

Of course Trump is an even bigger example of the Peter Principle, but the difference is that Musk used to be considered competent. As in, even the people who didn’t like his management of Tesla or Space X didn’t think he was running them into the ground. But now the Tesla stock he was using to back up his takeover has gone down $700 billion in value from a year ago.

I can’t remember where, but someone recently said that Musk’s Twitter purchase was like a gambling addict buying the race track. This is about what you would expect. But I am thankful because not only is Musk wrecking Twitter, he is wrecking its credibility as an information source in the event that someone else takes charge. Liberals have been complaining for some time that Twitter is a monopoly, as if it were the only company providing a posting medium and as if that were the same thing as a public information service. But Musk’s utter disregard for information security really is a problem for anybody who wants to post on Twitter, and illustrates the problem we face when such a large and influential company is suddenly taken over by a capricious nitwit. But the difference between the Twitter base and the Republican Party is that social media users really do have other options. The one currently getting a lot of the buzz is Mastodon. The difference between that service and Twitter is that Mastodon is open-source. A Reason Magazine article explains it this way: “Essentially, Mastodon is a federation of independent but interconnected servers. It’s common to see Mastodon users refer to it as the “fediverse.” For the most part, folks in one part of the Mastodon fediverse can see and interact with folks in all other parts of the Mastodon fediverse.” One poster said, “This really isn’t a place of influencers – at least in its current iteration. If you don’t want to reply to comments on your posts you probably shouldn’t post. This (is) engagement and community not hot takes and “influence” that can be monetarized by advertisers.”

Of course that last bit may illustrate why Twitter got as toxic as it did and why all the people complaining about it didn’t leave until it became more liability than it was worth.

As Adam Conover said recently regarding Musk in particular, “(Sam Bankman-Fried), Elon and (Mark Zuckerberg) haven’t been hurt by their apocalyptic failures, but their image has. Everyone from the media to the government can finally see the truth. And that’s a good thing, because if we remember that these guys are actually dumbasses, then we can beat them.”

Of course that’s the bright-side way to look at it. The other way to look at it is that these con men got as far as they did because the majority who gave them power are that much bigger dumbasses.

Death Of A Twit

On Friday November 11, it was Veterans’ Day, when we honor our veterans, including those who died in service. And I checked my cellphone as I was getting out of bed, and found out that Kevin Conroy, the definitive Batman voice actor, had died. Not only that, Gallagher died.

Gallagher doesn’t die. I always thought that 50 years from now I would be dead and cremated and Gallagher would still be touring the clubs, his skeletal arms lifting the mallet to crush watermelons with maniacal focus, his remaining hairs wisping behind him like the angry ghosts of better comedians.

It’s like when I found out Lou Reed died. Once I was watching a concert video with him and somebody asked, “Who is that old guy? He looks like he’s dying, like he’s starving to death.” And I said, “No, he’s not dying, he’s just Lou Reed!” Lou Reed doesn’t die, he just gets homelier and homelier! And then he really died. Wow. Man, when Lou Reed died, it was a sad day for trans junkie hookers everywhere.

But at this morbid moment, I can at least take solace in an impending death that will actually do the world some good.

Twitter.

People have been bagging on Elon Musk for a while now, and his latest tilt towards the LOL Right has only confirmed why so many people hated him in the first place even as the rest of us admired his entrepreneurial moxie. But his latest and biggest mistake was sealing the deal to buy out Twitter even as he’d found out early on that it wasn’t profitable enough to be worth the investment. And so he is apparently deciding to make it an actual business. And in the process he is doing more to destroy the Twitter brand than he could if he were trying to liquidate Twitter on purpose, and I can’t prove that that isn’t what he’s really doing.

The first thing Musk did was to fire its previous executives including its general counsel, cause I guess Twitter had too much content supervision. Apparently, Elon’s takeover was so poorly done that the Twitter company got locked out of its own account for 12 days because login details had not been shared for the transition.

But the biggest policy change Musk made was to the status of “the blue checkmark.” For most of Twitter’s history, having a blue checkmark next to your account name marked you as the verified user and protected against fakes. To get it, you had to fill out a form. Most public figures’ accounts, like the accounts of the President (and the individual who is or used to be the president) are verified this way. I did not know this until recently because I don’t give a rat’s tail about Twitter and until now it really didn’t matter. But now Musk, officially “Chief Twit”, decided his main goal with the site was to monetize a communications medium that he’d sunk $44 billion into. He told everybody that in order to keep their blue checkmarks, they’d have to pay him $20 per month. And a lot of those verified posters pointed out it was their traffic that built the site, with Stephen King saying “Fuck that, they should pay ME.” So Musk haggled himself down to $8. But then he said that with the monthly fee service, which he christened “Twitter Blue”, you got to use after-post edits and other features that previously weren’t in Twitter before. That’s good. Although most of these features are on Facebook for free. But the company seemed more concerned with monetizing something that had previously been free but optional than with screening out spam/bot accounts, which everyone agrees are a problem on Twitter and that Musk has promised to address as highest priority. Since anybody could “verify” they were who they said they were by paying for the privilege, you had a whole bunch of people doing Elon Musk clone accounts and saying goofy things to demean his image, which meant that Mr. Free Speech banned a whole bunch of people and specified that any such fake account that is not specifically labeled “PARODY” will also be banned. But that wasn’t it. You had another guy who has taken the handle of Jesus Christ (‘Carpenter. Healer. God’), and somebody who took a verified Nintendo account and used it to post an account picture of Super Mario giving the finger.

Of course, if I was running Nintendo and I were running their Twitter account, showing Mario giving the finger would be exactly what I’d do. But maybe that’s why I’m not running Nintendo.

If you believe in free speech, that means you protect the integrity of free speech. Even for corporations. We have a right to state our opinion and not have it mistaken for someone else’s, or have someone else claiming to be us and giving us issues. Like, with Eli Lilly having to explain that insulin ISN’T free now.

Somewhat predictably, Elon backed off the Twitter Blue spiel once it became clear how much legal liability it was creating.

Not to mention, Musk is so hopped up on cost controls that he is basically filling all the executive posts by himself while expecting his people to give up work-from-home arrangements and go without days off. Which is further evidence that he’s running things into the ground deliberately, but then he wouldn’t be making things so hard for himself in the short term. The Occam’s Razor explanation would be that he just doesn’t know what he’s doing.

Somebody joked, “Hey Elon, you should buy Chik-fil-A and Hobby Lobby next.” The difference being that those businesses are actually making lots of money. Which among other things means that they wouldn’t have been vulnerable to a takeover because they don’t need a buyout.

As much as I hate to say, maybe liberals were right about libertarianism. Because a totally free, unregulated society still requires some level of implied rules that everyone voluntarily agrees to, and the reason we have all the damn rules we have is apparently because some people need to be told the obvious. Like “Don’t shit where you eat” and “Don’t be a racist moron.” The lesson with Twitter is that however much you believe in free speech and a marketplace of ideas, if your institution doesn’t adhere to a minimal set of principles and make them clear to everyone who wants to participate, then any jokester or opportunist can take over the medium and undermine it to the point that no one can trust it or take it seriously. Y’know, like what happened with the actual Libertarian Party.

Once again: Nothing is a priori. Nothing in this world sprang fully formed and equipped straight from the head of a god. People assume that Twitter is or should be some ideal public medium that fits their standard of what the ideal is, when Jack Dorsey and his people just built it as a small-scale, personal post platform, and because of that very informality, it took off. It was never really intended to become a profit instrument, much less the world’s “town square.” But that is what the community did with it.

And just as some in the community think of Twitter as an objective communications medium when it was never really intended to be such, Musk seems to think that because he paid many billions of dollars for Twitter that it ought to turn a profit. Again, Twitter only has value because of the people who are on it, and that value doesn’t necessarily translate directly into money. Remember what they say about social media: If you’re not paying for the product then you ARE the product. Someone on Pajiba pointed out, “If Twitter goes down, so does the easiest method Ukrainians have to inform the world of Russia’s war crimes, and an easy way for labor unions, dissidents, and other folks without much power to organize efforts. Twitter may have more problems than solutions, but it does have value. Or it did, before Musk’s ongoing crises gave him reason to smash it.”

A while ago, I concluded my opinion of Twitter with the following: “media critic Matt Zoller Seitz was quoted (from Twitter) saying “I’ve said it before, and I’ll repeat it now: if a superior alternative to Twitter appeared tomorrow, I’d be gone from here in a heartbeat.” My advice to Seitz would be to get together with like-minded people and come to a consensus about what “a superior alternative to Twitter” means, and then find people of means to finance it and experts to create it. My personal goal is to make enough money to where I can buy out Twitter with the specific purpose of destroying the website. Either that, or use the space for something more ennobling, like bumfights or fetish porn.”

Somebody still needs to figure out what a better alternative to Twitter would be and whether it would be more feasible as a profit site or a non-profit medium. As it is, I’m predicting Twitter bumfights and porn any week now.