Well, that was a big waste of everybody’s time.
Not just because the impeachment of Donald Trump is going to be nullified to whatever extent allowed by Senate Majority Leader Mitch “the Bitch” McConnell, but because House Republicans acted as though on this day, December 18, their actions would actually have some effect on the outcome. Because even IF the Senate had 67 votes to convict Viceroy Trump, that WOULD NOT overturn the 2016 election. It would simply mean that the elected Vice-President takes over.
But almost every Republican who got to speak on the House floor tried to outdo themselves, as though the more ANGRY and HYSTERICAL they got and THE MORE THEY SHOUTED AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS, the more objectively valid their arguments would get. They seriously acted as though this was the worst thing in the world, as if the other party were only impeaching their president for totally partisan reasons, and AS IF that had never happened before. But it is not the worst thing in the world. Unless Mitch knows something I don’t, he IS going to quash this thing in the Senate. And if he doesn’t, the Republican President is Mike Pence.
And the impression I got from the Trump Organization employees who used to be the Republican Party is that the most horrible thing in the world, the thing that we MUST avoid at all costs, is letting Mike Pence become president.
Maybe they know something we don’t.
But really, when it came to raving like a fanatic in the throes of supernatural possession, the real cherry on this seven-layer shit sundae was the appropriately named Representative Barry Loudermilk of Georgia, who actually said, “When Jesus was falsely accused of treason, Pontius Pilate gave Jesus the opportunity to face his accusers. During that sham trial, Pontius Pilate afforded more rights to Jesus than Democrats afforded this president in this process.”
This may seem like a strange question to ask of a conservative Christian, but: Has this guy actually READ the Bible?
And I’m guessing he’s not a Catholic, but does he know the saints?
Saint Valentine: “I heard confessions and was sent to prison by the Romans, where I died.” Saint Sebastian: “I defended Christ and was shot full of arrows.” Saint Lawrence: “I protected the poor, and was roasted on a gridiron.” Saint Donnie: “I did everything for these Christians, I gave them two Justices, I got the embassy moved to Jerusalem, and the Democrats hated me before I was even elected, and then I twisted Zelensky’s arm for dirt on Joe Biden, which is totally legal and very fair, and they impeached me!! Treason. Very unfair.”
“…Wow, dude. Must be tough.”
But face it Democrats: this really IS all your fault. You know that the Republicans don’t have any original ideas. First they stole everything from the libertarians, until they figured out that there aren’t any libertarian votes, at which point they stole from left-populism, which in their hands is Huey Long at best.
In this case, the lesson they stole from Bill Clinton and his Democratic Party was: Never give up. Always defend your Leader. No. Matter. WHAT. No matter what comes out after you stake your position. No matter what he does to embarrass himself, and by extension, you. No matter what the risk that you will lose your job next year so that he can keep his for one more day. Will you be vindicated by history? No. By God? Maybe not. But you’ll get to keep power for a little while longer, and you’ll never have to admit you were wrong. And really, aren’t those the most important things in life?
In choosing to repeat history – the first time as farce, the second time as tragedy – the Republicans have not absolved the Democrats of their historical error, but in choosing to compound it, they have made the Democrats look relatively less corrupt in comparison, which in this political environment may as well be the same thing.
They have their legacy, Republicans. And you have yours.